Education of the child – business hard. Sometimes it is difficult to keep from irritation, seeing as the son or the daughter do something not as there is a wish. However you should not rush caustic phrases to the defenseless child too. Psychologists allocate 10 phrases which are capable to put to children a moral trauma.
1. "You are not able!" (you cannot, you do not understand, etc.). Do not program the child on failures in advance. Appreciate any efforts. If you see that it is impossible, tell quietly: "It is possible, I will show you the way … (to tie laces, to wipe from a table, etc.)?".
2. "In whom you are such sluggish?!". Avoid sharp estimates of character and physical data of the child subsequently not to develop an inferiority complex.
3. "Well stop to cry!". Forbidding tears, you provoke the child to accumulate negative emotions that can lead to neurosises and hysteria. The scornful tone of a phrase shows your indifference to a children's problem. It is better to find out quietly the reason of tears of the child and to try to help.
4. "Go, be engaged in something useful". Waving away from the child this phrase, you suggest to him an idea that all his actions – are aimless and not especially important earlier. If so you want to impart to the child "useful" habits, you learn in a thicket to spend time together and on own example to show what is good and that is bad.
5. "You will behave so, I will send you to that uncle (to the aunt, to orphanage, etc.)". Above all children are afraid that they will be thrown. Do not blackmail the child with his fears. In detail explain rules of conduct in any given situation.
6. "You what, it is smarter than me?!" ("Do not tell nonsense!", etc.). Very often attempts of the child to challenge something come to an end with parental anger: "as so, eggs still will teach chicken!". Imposing the dictatorship, you deprive the child of ability to make independent decisions in the future. You learn to listen and agree with children's opinion.
7. "From you some problems!" ("Because of you …", "If not you …", etc.). It is all the same what aloud to regret that the child in general was born on light. With children always not easy, but desperate situations do not happen. Do not shift own powerlessness in education to brittle children's shoulders.
8. "Here Vanya (Lena) that …". Constantly sticking the child into others progress, you thereby humiliate his own achievements. Why to your son or the daughter to resemble someone? You raise the personality, but not the imitator. There is also the return phrase: "You are the best of all!", which also deprives of the child of an opportunity to estimate the abilities adequately.
9. "You will bring me to a coffin!". This phrase you grow in the child constant sense of guilt for the fact that he inflicts on you so much suffering. The love of mother should not be selective: today I love, not tomorrow. You love the child of any even if he broke your favourite vase or again received 2 on mathematics.
10. "Tell the crazy father (mother) …". In quarrels or divorces the parents sometimes use children as means of blackmail or as ally in fight. From here and phrases: "Whom do you love more?", "Well also go to the to daddy!" and so forth Remember that children need both parents, and your family squabbles should not affect the child in any way.