Meeting constant negativism of the child, many parents just press the authority and induce the child something to do. But there are ways not to bring the matter to a children's hysterics, and to agree with it, to understand its needs and to direct activity of the kid to the correct course.
Instruction
1. Avoid the direct bans. Our subconsciousness is so arranged that "not" it does not perceive a particle. Child not an exception. When we speak "do not touch", the kid hears "touch" and does what to him is forbidden. As the recommendation for parents the psychologists advise a thicket to speak not the bans, and the indication of a possible alternative. Instead of a constant odergivaniye of the kid it is necessary to direct his activity: "draw, but only in an album", "walk on pools, but only in boots", etc. Look for an opportunity to resolve more often than to forbid.
2. Do not demand from the kid of cancellation. To the small child will extremely difficult stop, to stop in what he is engaged even if the parent persistently demands it. In the course of education it is better to redirect activity of small creation to the resolved course. If the kid pulls everything in a mouth, give it a subject which can be chewed safely; if it breaks toys, knocking them about a table, give it in hands the children's hammer and let knocks them much. Psychologists advise parents to bring up the child so that he could continue action in the resolved conditions.
3. Offer alternatives, but not the only option of action. During the periods of formation of will of the child it is important to it to defend the opinion. The negativism when the kid refuses everything, causes parents a set of problems. Not to encounter children's "no" and it is easy to agree with the child, psychologists recommend to parents to offer the choice: "Will you put on a t-shirt or a polo-neck?" You do not ask it whether he wants to put on. Choosing a dress code on walk, the kid agrees with the fact of the exit to the street automatically. At such statement of question it has perhaps to defend the "I" where it will not cause indignation of the parent.
4. Discuss positive result. When parents ask about something the child, they will come across protests also because the kid does not want to perform routine operations very much, he is not an expert from them. Parent can depict result from the performed work. If to clear the table, then at it it is convenient to sit down to draw; if quickly to change clothes in a pajamas, then more time will remain on reading and a conversation before going to bed, etc.
5. Talk to the child at one level. The kid is physically below adults all the time, his look constantly rests against legs of people around. Parents at the expense of a difference in growth feel the authority more, situation physically higher does them by morally more imperious. But in case it is necessary to agree with the child, to be better with him at one level to look to it in the face. For this purpose it is necessary or to sit down before growth of the child, or to lift it on hands. In such situation you and the child will feel not imperious, but equal relations, it becomes much simpler to agree at the same time. Establishment of visual contact also helps to stop undesirable action, just the kid who is carried away by the business can not hear words at all.
6. Sit down nearby, but not opposite. Situation face to face is often subconsciously perceived as opposition. To avoid confrontation, it is more favorable to parents to sit down not opposite, and near the child. Psychologically it removes stress and desire to resist, high probabilities peacefully to agree with the child. In case you feel that you begin to argue with the kid, to break off visual contact and to sit down nearby will be the best situation and will promote dialogue.
7. Participate in a game. As it was already told above, it is very difficult to kids to stop or stop an interesting game. Better to understand the child that happens to him, it is useful sometimes will join in his game. Do not demand something, and just sit down nearby, ask what he does as at him it turns out. As psychologists advise instead of "plaguing", to join the child better and to help to curtail it.