Today to be told much about teenage aggression which, really, represents a serious problem, especially for parents. But, contrary to delusion, this problem is quite solved at the attentive and understanding relation from adults.
It is important to understand the reasons of change of character and aggression
The hormonal storm can be the cause of aggression, and there can be a system of the bans and excessive requirements from adults, the investigation of the nursed grievance. Sometimes aggression is used as a way of self-affirmation which is especially important for the teenager – to it important to achieve respect and recognition of peers.
Therefore, facing aggression manifestations, it is important to consider this situation not from a charge position, and to understand true nature of such behavior. At the same time it is important to distinguish true aggression from impulsiveness, the rashness of acts inherent in teenage age. To understand it, also as well as the aggression reasons, only continuous dialogue and confidential contact with the teenager can help.
Do not go too far!
The most important mistake in attempt "to correct" the aggressive teenager – that parents hope for punishment as the main way of a solution. Of course, it is impossible to encourage aggression, it is important to designate accurately a position that such behavior is unacceptable, forces you to worry. But it is necessary to do it without excessive severity. The speech just goes about the unstable teenage mentality revolting against punishments and the bans.
Punishing the teenager, especially without having understood the reasons, it is unfair from his point of view, you risk to aggravate a situation only.
Remember that the most terrible for an unstable self-assessment of the teenager is to become "outcast". Punishing the child and furthermore constantly speaking about him in a negative way, you show rejection, rejection. As a result the contact and trust will be finally lost that will only incite the teenager against you more, strengthening him in opinion that aggression and force – the only ways of a solution to the conflict.
Give the chance to express
To the contrary, the quiet confidential situation, ability of parents to smooth acute angles in the inevitable conflicts with teenagers will create feeling at the teenager that it is appreciated and support with all its difficulties and problems, so, the necessary soil for a solution of the problem of aggression will be created. Become an example of effective behavior, give the chance to the child to get experience of finding of compromise solutions.
If you understand that it is difficult for teenager to constrain itself, then give him the chance to splash out the aggression without infliction of harm to people around, allow it to express and be able to listen.
You teach the teenager to send the excess energy to the constructive course – for example, sports. You will acquaint him with the psychological technicians helping to remove stress and to find peace of mind.
Remember that there are no such psychological problems with which the love and mutual trust would not help to cope. And … it passes teenage age while the trust remains for the rest of life!