Education of children – difficult business. Here it is necessary to show daily a maximum of patience and wisdom, to observe a certain sequence of actions and explanations, to be able to be at proper words. However always there comes the moment when the kid for some reason violates the established rules. And it is impossible to leave it just like that that further mistakes did not become a habit. How it is correct to punish children for disobedience?
Types of punishment, according to psychologists, have to differ depending on age of the child and weight of his offense.
- It is the most reasonable to begin to punish the kid for disobedience since three years. It does not make sense to do it earlier just. At early age all children are very mobile therefore unintentionally to break a favourite vase of mom or to ornament working papers of dad – quite a commonplace. However it is not an occasion to shout and, especially, to beat the child. In general you should not apply such measures to children. Here it is very important to show restraint and, falling by the child's level (it is an important point of equality), to quietly explain abnormality of its act.
- Psychologists recommend to apply punishment for disobedience in the form of temporary isolation to children of school age. It assumes allocation of a special zone in the house to which send the child for considering of the behavior. Punishment has to last no more than an hour. At the same time, certainly, it is forbidden to contact to the disobedient child, to give it toys and gadgets.
- More difficult the situation is with teenagers. During the pubertal period children are ready quite aggressively to notations of parents and the whole world. They seek to be free, to try something new. It is senseless to respond with aggression to aggression. It is important to understand that the difficult teenager in an emotional fuse will hardly listen to you. Therefore it is necessary to give it (and itself at the same time) "to cool down". And then to try to talk nevertheless to it, adducing powerful arguments of that as well as why it is necessary to arrive. If this method does not help, then it is necessary to try house arrest. In the most extreme cases it is recommended to address the expert.
- All children's offenses should be differentiated on innocent pranks and serious disobedience. So, for example, consequences of the broken vase it is insignificant are small in comparison with theft of money from parents. In the first case it is possible to manage a simple explanatory conversation, in the second it is possible to apply reduction of pocket money or the same house arrest.
There are also general recommendations of experts as it is correct to punish children for disobedience:
- You should not do it publicly. Punishment is a business only of parents and the child. Otherwise you will just humiliate the child that will cause a bigger persistence and offense at you.
- It is impossible to compare the child to others. As a result you can receive not good behavior, but diffidence.
- Cleaning and performance of school lessons are fundamental obligations of the child. Them it is impossible to punish! Otherwise the unwillingness to be engaged in these affairs will be developed and, as a result, the progress at school will decrease, the laziness will appear.
- At the decision to punish the kid boycott, it is necessary to keep up to the end. Till the moment more precisely, so far he does not plead guilty and will not apologize.
- Use a particle at the wording of requirements and rules. For example, a phrase "Do not sit down at a table with dirty hands" better to replace "Before food it is necessary to wash hands". In other words, do not forbid the child, and explain to him as it is correct to do.
- At punishment all family members have to adhere to one line of conduct. The pity cannot allow from one of parents at all. In this case you will bring up a psychological chameleon, and the lesson will not be learned.
- It is necessary to observe accurate balance. It is impossible to punish constantly the child without manifestation of your love and caress to it. As a result the child will grow disturbing, intimidated, constantly doubting that it is good and what is bad. At the same time it is impossible and to ignore pranks of the kid. In this case, on the contrary, it is possible to bring up the rebel and the hooligan.