As it is correct to punish the child. Councils of the psychologist

As it is correct to punish the child. Councils of the psychologist

Yes, we love children and we always try to agree and explain with them, but some acts cannot be disregarded. How to explain to the child that he is not right, without having broken his zone of comfort, without prejudice to mentality.

First, it is necessary to remember that the little person - already the person. He the personality with the thoughts and feelings which you should not offend. In punishment and in usual life the humiliation and ridiculing is under no circumstances inadmissible. Remember that you want to grow up the full-fledged, self-assured person.

  • Establish rigid borders of legal. Define for yourself what you will never allow the child that is possible always that is possible in certain time. Also tell these rules to the child. For example, it is impossible to touch the iron. Just it is impossible even if there is a strong wish. It is dangerous. At first soup - then sweet. Do not change the rule. Candy before a lunch it is impossible even if the grandmother treated. If rules are constant, the child quickly adapts to them. And punishment will quietly take for non-execution as he knows that he violated rules. If the child did wrong for the first time - he did not violate the rule as it is not established yet. In detail explain why so it is impossible to do and introduce the rule. Did not establish the rule yet - do not demand its execution.
  • Be sure of themselves and are quiet. If the child openly calls you on the conflict, do not follow his tastes, do not dare to become on its level, you the adult. Strictly, but quietly block aggression of the child. You speak quietly even if he shouts. If the child tries to fight - stop his hands, but do not hit into the answer. The child reads out the behavior from you if you can fight, then and to it too. Do not you want to grow up the meek loser? Remember it before punishing the child.
  • It is impossible to punish children for accidental misses. All have them. Adults break plates too and soil clothes. Would not you begin to abuse the guest for accidentally broken vase? Will not you stand the guest in the corner? Than your child is worse? Do not show to the child of adult requirements, he can not remember your request or not understand it owing to features of age.
  • Do not beat the child, you do not tell him disgusting words which will break to it a self-assessment and will spoil life, you do not transfer to the child bad mood from work or quarrels with the spouse. Remember forever - your child loves you! He was born with this love, do not kill it! And he needs your love every second, day and night, constantly. Everything that he does ""not so"" has only three explanations: 1. He made it accidentally (poured out on itself compote, fell to the younger brother). 2. He did not know what so cannot be done (jumped in a pool - same so cheerfully, it is so much splashes! sprinkled with sand of the companion in a sandbox). 3. It lacks your love (in shop broke a dress from a hanger - mom at last ceased to speak by phone and took me by hand, and I feel hot, and she to me will not take off a cap in any way).
  • Finish the conflict. When the situation is exhausted, talk to the child, console him, assure of the love. Reconcile with the kid. Discuss a situation. Divide the personality and an act. You are good, and an act - bad. Speak the rule once again, explain why this way it is impossible to act. 

And the main thing, remember love! Before punishing - sort out a situation. Remain quiet. You the adult, the loving adult! Remember it always! At any educational process there are mistakes and misses, but a basis of the healthy relations with the child are the love, sincere care and warmth. Only with their participation the severity can be justified.

Author: «MirrorInfo» Dream Team