Whether you thought sometime of the fact that the praise for the child can be both harmful, and useful? And how it is correct to do it?
Opinion of psychologists
From the psychological point of view, it is impossible to eulogize the child for abilities which are given him by the nature. Such praise can strongly do much harm. And if it repeats, then your child begins to feel "special" and demands recognition of this truth from the others. For example, if it became clear that your kid has a good ear for music, then it is not necessary to place emphasis only on it. And here progress in training in a vocal or playing a musical instrument has to be noted. So, you will let know to your child that valuably not only to have any ability, but it is important to develop it. Otherwise the feeling of exclusiveness can lead to oppression of the personality as eventually, without making any efforts for development of the skill, the child will see progress of others, to envy and consider itself the unaccomplished genius.
It is harmful to praise for the fact that at the child something turns out easily and to hold up him as an example that to whom same it is given much more difficultly. Because of such opposition, the child whose abilities it is worse, can cease to try to achieve good results. Besides, such praises, as a rule, become a reason for hostility between children.
Often praising highly your kid without need, you depreciate a praise and accustom your child to cheap success. Besides, soon, the child in general will cease to listen to you and to perceive with attention what you tell him.
As it is necessary to praise?
The most important rule: you praise the child sincerely and in proportion to acts.
If the child lacks self-confidence, then the praise will give him forces, will lighten the mood, will tune into achievement of a goal. The correct praise loads with optimism, when necessary. And if you noticed a gift in the child, then it is necessary to explain to him that success and recognition of its abilities will be only on condition of laborious work for their development.
At the same time, the deficiency also leads praises to irreparable consequences. If unfairly the flattered children grow up and become arrogant and haughty, then the child who was publicly shamed or laughed at him, all life will try to hide from all, or will quietly hate all the environment. There is one more type: active children whose abilities were not put on the right track become selfish and rough in relation to others. Is also such which do not suffer confusion from public attempts indignity, and on the contrary, deride them. Such children usually wriggle in the teacher's back when that punishes them, thereby amusing all class.
Generally, consequences of surplus or a lack of a praise there can be great variety therefore it is necessary to treat especially attentively and carefully this moment not to do much harm to your child.