All parents want to see the children healthy joyful and successful. But from a lack of experience and of a pursuit of imaginary happiness make a set of gross blunders in the course of their education. It causes boomerang effect. And children have complexes, fears and dissatisfaction with life. Look narrowly at this bad advice and try to arrive always from the return!
Education of children — a task difficult. It becomes frequent a stumbling block for most of parents. If the child — the firstborn. Due to the lack of experience dad and mom can "commit follies" with which it will be in the future very difficult to deal. Therefore attentively read these councils and analyze the relationship with the child. Whether you learn somewhere between lines of? If yes, that try to refuse the habits in favor of more constructive. Having looked at a situation from different foreshortenings, you for certain will manage to reconsider some beliefs.
Bad advice
1. As soon as the kid is born, solve whom he will be and what. This fine image has to be faultless. If you are overflowed by pride, so you hit the nail, and it is possible to begin to work while the child lies across a bed. You mold it on own ideal template.
2. By no means, never you praise the child. And it is better — criticize, speak about its shortcomings more often that he knew about them and improved! If shortcomings are unrecoverable, let will reconcile in advance to avoid disappointments.
3. Never you say to the girl that she is beautiful. She has to choose a worthy profession. Never you say to the boy that he is clever. So at him the incentive will is always become it better!
4. Do not buy a toy if only the child himself does not ask. And if asks, point to him to the price and convince that it is better to buy more useful things. It will teach economy.
5. Accustom the child to thrift. For example, he does not need to buy a new sweater if still it is quite possible to resemble in old.
6. It has to send and eat on hours! It is necessary to eat up everything, nothing can remain on a plate. He is obliged to learn to appreciate work of the parents who earned on this porridge.
7. Any pocket money. The child can buy on them cigarettes. You do not need these problems. Right?
8. To walk release only when all lessons are made and household chores are executed. The son or the daughter have to deserve walk.
9. Never allow the child to interrupt adults and to speak until pledged him the word. It teaches respect for seniors.
10. Do not allow the child to cry, especially to the boy. It accustoms to transfer all disorders with firmness. Boys are future men, and men do not cry.
11. If you are afraid that without your supervision something happens to the kid, so you have on that bases. Do not let him from yourself stray one step! An exception — the summer camp. But consider that there it can pick up louses, ache, contact the bad company.
12. The child has to grow kind, sympathetic, well-mannered. If you noticed that he is insolent to you, expresses disagreement, insists on the, arranges hysterics, is angry — at once strictly stop. Even if it is necessary to use a belt and threats. The child has to be obedient! If you are at a loss with threats, here to you hints if does not obey at all: "I will give to the militiaman", "I will hand over in a boarding school", "I will take away to the forest to wolves", "I will give to the uncle", "I left, and you remain".
13. Sharp-sightedly you watch that with whom your child is on friendly terms. Forbid it to communicate with those who, in your opinion, are unworthy it. He has to learn to choose to himself friends. Nothing terrible if he has no friends. Mom and dad — beautiful companions.
14. If the child came in tears and tells about the problems, put him near yourself and tell that all this is nonsense and trifles.
15. Solve to what circles to go is your responsibility, but not it. You understand better that it is necessary for it. He knows nothing about life yet.
16. Be not afraid to fly into a rage! Nothing terrible if the child is afraid of you, next time the fear can stop him from unnecessary actions. Your child has to behave so that you were proud of him, but were not ashamed.
17. Listen to opinion of neighbors and other strangers on the boy or the girl. What you can not notice is always more visible to foreign people, so, not stop.
It is possible to continue this bad advice indefinitely, but, perhaps, will be enough. They are through penetrated by rules and the bans, stereotypes and prejudices, alarms and fears... And all this was made of the best motives: for violent love for the children, shame that they — wrong and fear that by all means something happens to them. It is better to think again now and to change something in itself. Then will see excruciatingly painful as your mistakes one behind one are shown in adulthood of beloved children.