Unfortunately, the strongest offenses to us are often caused by the closest people. According to psychologists, children's offenses at parents are not forgotten for the rest of the life. What do children most often take offense at?
Unwillingness to reckon with opinion of the child
It is one of the most common causes of offenses. Parents are not able or do not want to reckon with opinion of the child, force it to submit whether they disrespectfully speak his opinion (for example, ""You never know what you want!""). All this remains in memory for the rest of life.
Condemnation of the loved one for what you did not do - very heavy burden. Unfortunately, often parents abuse, punish or just condemn the child for those acts which he did not make. If you understood that you in vain punished the child - surely tell him about it and apologize. Even if it was long ago. Such things are not forgotten.
It is what many children never forget. The violated promise, disclosure of secrets of the child to other people, ridiculing of his attachments - such acts of the adult break lives and break basic trust to the world. And the relations with parents will not return on the previous level any more.
By the principle ""do the attitude towards the child that you want, to me all the same"" often become the cause of a serious psychological trauma on for the rest of the life. Discharge from affairs of the child, from his hobbies and attachments offends at all not less, than the bans or dictatorship. The child is lost in the world, he feels to nobody necessary and worthless.
Comparison with others
Comparison is not pleasant to anybody. And ""I"" can cause loss in the child such relation own. Why at it has to be as at others? If comparison becomes constantly not in favor of the child. He gradually gets used that it is worse than others. Consequences of it are the underestimated self-assessment and the broken destiny.
Sometimes parents deceive ""for the good"" as it seems to them. But trust to the close adult - one of components of development of the harmonious personality. The revealed deception (and secret always becomes obvious as we remember) unsettles the child of quiet life and causes despair and discontent with parents. The disappointed hopes for many years fall on the little person.
Lack of faith in the child
Even many loving parents sin with it. ""Dai I will make for you" ", " "At you it will not turn out" ", " "Dai I will help"" - not such innocent phrases as can seem in the beginning. It is necessary to help at the request of the child. And phrases "Yes to whom you, such the clumsy, will be necessary", – can remain for the rest of life in the child's head and affect seriously his further life far not to the best.
Protect the children from the bad mood, for your fatigue at work. Casually the told phrase can seriously affect all its future. There are offenses which are forgotten. But many words of parents remain in our memory for many years. Therefore every minute, every second it is necessary to control the language and to accurately represent what consequences can bear your words. Also do not forget to apologize to the little person. It is very important for him.