Divorce proceedings very painful not only for adults, but also for children. Not created mentality of the child often just cannot understand and accept why mom and dad will separately live. And how to understand according to what criteria adults with whom will select there will be a child. The complexity of this decision reads off scale. It is a difficult task, both for adults, and for the kid. And here it is necessary to approach competently this question, without excess hysterics and the principles, to reach compromise which will allow to explain in a form, clear for the child, to him all situation.
So, the main subjects which it is necessary understand and can explain to the kid:
1. With whom will the child, with the father or mother live? It is necessary to solve at first among themselves, to reach mutual agreement and only then to tell it to the kid. It is not necessary to say to the child that dad (mom) bad that he (she) throws us and does not love.
2. When what amount of time, and what rights will be had by the parent who will not live with the child? Again, questions these adults, they are discussed between them too, and the child needs to tell that he will be able to see dad (mom) when will want and so much how many it will be necessary for it. It would be good to load the child sections, circles and to that similar that time for thoughts about adult problems at it was as little as possible.
It is not necessary to aggravate already stressful condition of the child with unnecessary showdowns at it. The child already loses normal education and a habitual way of life. All the same not to avoid consequences. Therefore it is worth reducing as much as possible risk to injure children's mentality.
One of the very first stresses at the child after the divorce is how anew to adapt in new life. Girls, as a rule, become closed, and boys uncontrollable. Of course, there are also deep forms of a stress which will appear in adulthood of the child, such as whether it is worth loving if in the world fidelity and why to make family.
Often children blame themselves divorced parents, small become whimsical, and seniors even have addictions. It is necessary to surround the child with attention and care, to talk to him and to make so that meetings with the left parent were as often as possible.
Of course, it is necessary to recognize that in some situations the divorce is necessary both for parents, and for children. Sometimes, leaves so that it is more comfortable and simpler to child to live with one parent in tranquility, than in full family where tension and scandals reigns.