Rivalry of children in family – the widespread phenomenon. It can proceed in rather soft, harmless form, and can be very sharp, reaching the conflicts. It depends on many reasons, first of all, from an age difference and from behavior of parents.
At an essential age difference (4 years and more) rivalry is almost not shown. The senior child quickly gets used to a role of the trustee and defender younger, and younger almost never seeks to compete with the senior, recognizing his authority. If age difference minimum, rivalry more than perhaps. And here parents already have to play a role.
They should not compare children, to hold up one as an example to another. Especially, if it is about achievements in any given area. If all the time to praise one child, demanding that another followed an example of him, trying to obtain the same indicators, then the result with the probability of 99% will be opposite: "loser" will feel envy and hostility to the rival favourite. Parents should find other way to stimulate the child.
Very frequent reason of rivalry: the senior child after emergence in the house of younger feels the uselessness. It is clear, that parents should give the lion's share of forces and attention to the baby, but not senior child. It does not mean at all that they began to love the senior less! But in the opinion of the child it looks quite so: before him loved, cared for him, and now he at mom and dad playing a supporting role. He is tormented by offense and jealousy. Not to allow it, parents should prepare the senior for appearance of the baby in advance. It is good to hold with it a conversation, approximately in such style: "Darling, you know that you will have a little brother (sister) soon. The kid will be absolutely helpless, he will not even be able to explain what he wants that it is necessary for it. Here you, for example, if you want to eat, can tell us about it, and we will feed you. If something hurts you – you will complain, and we will help. And the kid will be able only to cry! Therefore we should pay him more attention, but it not because we began to love you less!" And after appearance of the baby in the house, despite all employment and fatigue, it is necessary to give to the senior child both love, and care. At such approach the firstborn will apprehend appearance of the younger child quietly, will quickly fall in love with the kid.