Parents of the disobedient child has to be very patient people. It is necessary to collect to teach a good lesson all the will in a fist that will not give in to temptation him a belt. However, a belt – very inefficient measure. It is necessary to find out at first the reason, and then to eliminate it.
Instruction
1. Long-term observations of scientists of disobedient children established 4 main reasons for disobedience.
2. Desire to pay attention. Without receiving due consideration which is required for its harmonious development, the child finds different ways to draw attention to himself: he can become whining, will show the fears if only mom sat nearby, some even get sick. But a small part of children uses disobedience for drawing attention to the person. He prefers to receive negative attention, than in general not to receive it.
3. Desire to be independent. If parents address the child only with remarks, instructions or fears, the child just rises against hyper guardianship. He becomes stubborn as a burro, does everything in defiance. He needs to assert the right to make mistakes!
4. Desire to revenge. The offense at parents can be in many, rather serious occasions. It can be a divorce of parents, appearance of the new dad, appearance of the small child who is taking away all attention of mother. The single small occasions more often concerning unfair punishments or words. Motto: "You to me made badly, and I to you!"
5. Lack of desire. When to the child a lot of criticism pours, he is closed, loses self-esteem, self-confidence. As a result in his head the thought ripens: "And why to me to try if nothing is impossible". Externally disobedience is shown by the words "to me all the same", "well and punish", "well and I will be bad".
6. If you though understand people a little, you will understand for what reason the child became stubborn. And further everything depends on your reaction. Main council: arrive not as you arrived earlier. If the child sees that you are angry or depressed after his actions, so he achieved the objectives, and will act this way again and again next time. Earlier you arrived from force position. Now approach from a help position.
7. If the child lacks attention, think up joint games, classes, walk with the child more often. Only at this moment concentrate on the child completely. Better 5 minutes a day when you are completely absorbed by it, than 2 hours of scattered attention, in parallel with washing and the TV. At his desire to ego-trip, on the contrary, reduce the participation in its affairs. Let him accumulate the experience. To cope with itself, try to understand: at all the inhumane methods, the child only begs you to give him the chance to be itself. At offenses and claims on both sides, it is necessary to dump their counter on zero, believe in the child's opportunities, and he will believe too. Organize for it a circle of tasks which it will be able precisely to execute. At the first progress the child will be inspired.