"The real mother" - sometimes it is possible to hear about any given woman as a praise or approval. However sense many people put absolutely different in this epithet.
What they, real mothers?
According to psychologists, the childhood of the woman and her relationship with own mother is of great importance. Some dream of becoming the same dobra and loving, as well as their mother. Others try to develop the way, having avoided the mistakes made by their parents. The danger of such approach sometimes consists in permissiveness - allow children too much by the principle: "Was not at me, let will be at my children". However similar education is not a guarantee that the woman becomes "the real mother" yet.
There is an opinion that the wisdom comes with experience when the woman begins to bring up not only the child, but to change. Quite often new mothers note that after birth of the child they had to become more patient and reserved - it is possible, it also is steps on the way to formation by so-called real mother...
How to become the real mother to the nonnative child
Sometimes the women not capable or hesitating to bring the child in the natural way, decide to adopt the boy or the girl from orphanage. If the child newborn, according to psychologists, can undergo accustoming process easier and quicker. Children about one year, taking into account features of mentality, easily switch also the period necessary for forming of relationship with new mom, perhaps, will be painless. And it will be easier for woman to get used to the small child - the wise nature took care of it: many begin to have desire to surround defenseless kids with care and attention that is undoubted at the instinctive level, will help them to become the real mother in the fullest understanding of this word over time. That who decides to adopt the child will be more senior, of course, easier in the household plan: sleepless nights because of the cut teeth and gradual accustoming to a pot already remained far behind. However absolutely other problems in the forefront can be put. Children who already were 2-3 years old are capable to keep memories of the mother or relatives, having at the same time absolutely different feelings - from pain and fear to rage and despair. To melt ice in soul of such kid, it is necessary to work much. But, having gained his trust and love, mom will be not only "real", but also only in the world. Perhaps, is for the sake of what it is worth living. It is known that some children adopted in early (and not really) age, admitted that they consider the real mother that which grew up them, surrounded with care, gave the chance to live in family and put on legs. Therefore the women doubting the opportunities can advise to address for council those who already passed this way. For example, many mothers of many children, including, raising adopted children, are often ready to share council to help to make happy one more kid in this huge and not always the fair world.