Many parents face lies of the children at any given age, but especially the problem becomes aggravated in communication with teenagers. How to be to parents?
Offer honesty and demand truthfulness
Psychologists insist that "itself will be approved" concerning a teenage lie is inappropriate. Parents have to designate accurately the position – "the lie in our family is unacceptable". Any, even small, a lie in communication with relatives are the mine of the slowed-down action undermining mutual trust. But, demanding truthfulness from the child, offer honesty in return. If in family a "innocent" lie, boasting, secrets from each other – in the nature of things then to fight against a lie of the child it is useless, he only reproduces model of parental behavior.
Try to understand the reasons
It is important to understand the reasons of change in behavior of the child. Of course, the teenage age is time when the child has interests that is, the secrets from parents. But the systematic lie, concealment of information is a disturbing signal. Analyze: when did lies begin? to whom does he lie — all or only to some? why?
And you should not ask a direct question to the child – he can not realize the true reason.
Why the teenager lies? Sometimes teenagers thus unconsciously try to draw attention of parents to the problems. Perhaps, the child is afraid of punishment of you, or wants to seem better, than is? Then, it is an occasion to think – can be, you too overestimate requirements, put many frames and the bans which he tries to bypass by means of a lie.
Encourage confidential discussion
The excessive rigidity and pressure, acute emotional reaction of you can complicate a situation only. Try to communicate more with the child, show that you trust him and wait for reciprocal trust. Do not reprimand, but openly discuss a lie subject, and express the opinion on its inadmissibility. Ask questions which will push the teenager to reflect on the responsibility: "what would you feel if I deceived you?", "as I can trust you if you deceive?"
Introduce penalties for lies
It is necessary to punish for systematic lies. But punishment has to be just and be followed by explanation of your position. The best is to introduce "the system of penalties for lies", some psychologists consider.
Become the friend to the child
Main principle: to solve a lie problem at teenagers, the atmosphere of trust and support in family is very important. It is important to become the friend for your almost adult child. Then he will be able to trust you the most intimate secrets, and you will be able to prompt him the right decision and to save from mistakes.