Often from mothers the phrase is heard: "Now I will accustom to sleep with myself, then it is heavy to disaccustom will be", or: "Do not accustom to hands, then you will be exhausted to disaccustom". The essence of similar recommendations for parents always comes down to the fact that it is impossible or on the contrary it is necessary to accustom to something the child surely. Such relation to development of the kid is incorrect. The root of such views is that parents consider all education only as the unidirectional influence from adults.
Actually not only mom brings up the kid, but also he influences her too. All children different, with the features of character, development and health. Therefore there are no universal recommendations for parents about education. Always the same methods variously influence different kids.
Someone sleeps since childhood in the separate room and does not suffer from it at all. And someone is so disturbing that it is ready and to climb in 7 years under a blanket closer to mom. And a problem not that "mom so accustomed".
Understanding that education is created by two – mom and the kid – will help to avoid excess psychological problems. If children are born with a small difference, some parents understand this moment. And here when mom constantly undertakes all responsibility for education only, without noticing the child's contribution, she begins to worry about those moments on which she cannot influence.
Let's consider it on an example. Any kid it is really possible to put to bed separately from parents. Only some babies fall asleep with ease in the bed. And to others young mom gets up on 17 times once again to rock to sleep. In this case, if she ignores features of the child, then often begins to blame herself that she is bad mother who cannot accustom the kid to an independent dream. If the woman understands that not she one influences this situation, then and she will not test fault. Then mom makes the conscious choice: whether she continues the chosen way, spending more efforts, than someone another, or looks for different ways – puts the kid to bed with himself.
All recommendations for parents will always refract somehow concerning specific family. Always it is necessary to remember it, comparing the child to others. Sometimes complexity not that mom does something incorrectly, and that such method does not work with her child.