How to bring up, without punishing

How to bring up, without punishing

Parents differently raise the children. Someone considers correct severity and obedience, someone, remembering the unhappy childhood, provides to the child a lot of freedom. Pluses and minuses are in any approach. But the most important in the attitude towards children are an education without punishments.


1. The parents continually punishing the child do it harm not only because intimidate him. This fear gives rise to a children's lie, diffidence, cultivates cruelty in the little person. Instead of the expected repentance and understanding of the actions you cause in it feeling of offense, rage and irritation. Fail with thoughts of that, as you in the childhood were punished, beaten, and nothing terrible happened to you. Impose in family a total ban on physical punishments of any sort.

2. There are cases when nerves of parents, tired and angry after the working day, elementary hand over. And to trouble itself search of an alternative, having lost control over itself, quite difficult. Nevertheless, even your bad mood should not affect the child. If you suddenly hit the kid, surely apologize to him. No matter, he understands or not. Try to explain to the child what quite so strongly upset you. Postpone better trials when you feel that nerves on a limit. Calm down, drink a cup of tea, go to other room, stamp a leg, and then be engaged in "blamestorming session".

3. As a rule, the style of education of children depends on personal qualities of parents. It means that in your forces to change a way of communication with the child. Remember that from a large number the importance of the ban "is impossible" it is lost. Provide to the kid more freedom. You, undoubtedly, wish well to it, want him to grow up the self-sufficient and independent personality, achieved achievements in life. Then revise the requirements, recognize the right of the child for self-development and the choice. Try to minimize all bans. It "is impossible" - to do life-threatening and health of a thing, to hurt, to treat objects badly. "It is not necessary" is what can be done, but in certain conditions. For example, loudly to shout, run, jump, etc.

4. In force of nature children cannot sit quietly long time, they need to move, investigate everything around. Too try to arrange to the got noisy kid a respite. Suggest it to sit on a stool and to think. That it was not boring for it, turn on the quiet music or give the book. Believe, the strict serious voice of dad or mom can work much more impressively than punishment or a slap. Reading to the child of the fairy tale and other works of children's literature, discuss with him good and bad acts of heroes, draw the attention of the kid to what can lead disobedience to.

5. Try as it is possible to react more quietly to undesirable actions of children, whenever possible not to notice them. Focus attention on good acts, you do not stint a praise. Arriving thus, you will be able to fix positive behavior in consciousness of the child. Get houses a notebook or the poster on a wall in which daily do together with the kid of a mark. If he approximately behaved, draw a smilie with a smile or the sun, made offense – a sad smilie or a cloudlet. If at the end of the week of cheerful images it is gathered more, encourage the child. For bad behavior you can limit it in viewing animated films or sweets. When children see result of the actions, they learn to control them better.

6. When the child grows up, goes to school, to the forefront for it there is a study and communication with peers. During this period to it the careful and attentive management of parents in these questions is very important. Actively participate in life of the child, help him in the form of a game, protection, support, a joke, confidential council, the requirement. Helping the growing person to be guided with a complex system of human relationship, you strengthen the parental authority. The child realizes that parents are responsible for him before society. He seeks to cause your approval and respect, understanding that this responsibility assumes not only the help, but also the requirement of observance of rules.

Author: «MirrorInfo» Dream Team