Often parents can not have a communication with their adult children. Until recently they were absolutely tiny and could not make much without the aid of mother and the father, and now the habitual form of dialogue does not approach, and it is necessary to look for new approach to the grown-up child.
They are really adult
How it is banal sounded, it is necessary to communicate with adult children really as with adults. Once the child completely depended on you and could not eat and tie independently laces, however those times passed long ago. If you look at the son or the daughter is more attentive, you for certain will find quite independent young man who without problems earns money, cooks to himself dumplings and crosses the road on green light. Old indulgent pokrovitelnaya the manner of communication is not relevant any more.
They have the opinion
In the childhood children often take the part of parents, fearing to lose their love or without having own opinion on policy of the USA for the countries in the Middle East and therefore agreeing with the words of the father to make to that pleasant. The grown-up child got own judgments and does not hesitate to state them. You want to build the normal relations with the child – take his words into account. Of course, you have the right not to agree with it, but you should not wave away and assure scornfully that the grown-up child all the same still is not enough and understands nothing. If you need only the attentive and not contradicting listener for your monologues, get a cat or a dog better.
They cannot be your only incentive to live
Often the child turns into the only meaning of life of his parents. When he grows up, the father and mother feel old and unnecessary, and in every way try to hold the child of the house. The stronger parents press, the child resists more actively. Leave this vicious circle. Learn to derive pleasure from the life, but not from life of your son or the daughter. And then the child will be able to communicate with you as with the adult interesting successful man.
They do not need uninvited councils
Give to the grown-up child advice when he about them asks. He will not die if can you tell me that it is necessary to put on warmly on the street and to take an umbrella. Your child is capable to decide that it is pleasant to it where he wants to study and work with whom to be on friendly terms and build the relations. Just allow it to do it.
But they need respect
Most of parents love the children, but extremely seldom respect them. And this indispensable condition for forming of strong and trusting relationship. If your child grew up the good person, then to you already is for what to respect him and what to be proud of. For certain if desired you will be able to find in native fumes and other advantages: perhaps, it successfully studies at the university, knows English, and on vacation goes on the North to help the volunteer to cubs of seals.