There are different technicians of negotiating. Let's understand what them them children apply in the conflicts intuitively and to what we would like to teach them.
Power strategy of resolution of conflict. It is likely the most frequent way to which kids in a sandbox without intervention of adults resort. An essence – to take away the by force, that is there is a satisfaction of interests only of one party. That as a result: one child is happy, he took away the toy; the second cries. But let's not go into extremes: there are situations in which power strategy is quite appropriate. Namely:
- the truth on the party of one child – the owner of a toy already leaves and collects the, for example;
- the conflict lasts long - kids already long cannot divide a toy;
- the price of continuation of the conflict is too high - tension grows that will lead to a hysterics of both children.
I think, many parents will agree with me that application of power strategy of an exit from the conflict has to remain a last resort, it is better at first to try to agree.
Compromise. The playground – good, if not ideal, the place for training of the child in skills of achievement of a compromise. As well as it was told above, kids intuitively apply a power way: came, saw the pleasant toy, took away it. Be not too lazy, make efforts to teach the child to agree. The earlier you will begin to do it, the better. Training of the child in skills of achievement of a compromise will demand from you patience, but the result very much will please you.
What needs to be done? Let's say you know that favourite toys of your child are machines and the different equipment. Means, you understand that, having come to a sandbox, the kid first of all to rush to someone else's machines. Get to yourself a habit to take many machines, with what your child well plays are not obligatory. Take different and much. These machines will be necessary for exchange. Systematically accustom the child to approach to ask someone's not empty-handed toy. Believe, it is much easier to exchange, than just to ask. Especially it concerns children is younger (about 2 years). You are not lazy to carry with yourself on walk a big package of the different equipment. Believe, it is simpler to bring a package of toys, than to constantly see tears of kids who cannot divide one machine.
At first the child will master action: that to receive something, it is necessary to give something. Training of your child in the fact that exchange has to be equivalent will be the following step: if you ask the tractor, it is hardly worth offering molds for sand in exchange. This understanding will come to the child not at once. Not only physical action, and already intellectual assessment of the situation is required here. Do not demand much, patiently explain again and again that the kid needs to make to achieve the desirable.
Your patience and desire to teach the child to get out of conflict situations – will bear fruit. The main thing – do not give up, your child will not learn to agree in one day.
Compromise and power ways, of course, not only possible for resolution of conflicts. But, probably, the most often applied. I wish you wisdom and success in resolution of conflicts at the playground. In them so your child can learn much.