The death of the loved one always becomes a hard blow even for adults – what to speak about children. Completely it is impossible to protect the child from such situations, but to help it to cope with pain of loss it is possible and it is necessary.
Instruction
1. It is necessary to report to the child about the death of the loved one. "The sacred lie" in such cases is inadmissible. Having learned that "mom for a long time left", the child can feel thrown, and this feeling will not soften, and will strengthen a psychological trauma. Besides surely there will be "well-wishers" who will tell the kid the truth, and then the disappointment from deception from close people will be added to the sincere wound connected with death.
2. Speaking about death with the child or with other people at his presence, it is necessary to avoid allegoric turns, children, especially small, perceive words literally. For example, having heard a phrase "fell asleep an eternal rest", the child will be afraid to go to bed.
3. In the first days after the death of the family member the adults are busy with sad efforts, to them it is heavy too, but it is not an occasion "to wave away" from the child. Superfluous will not caress it and to take on hands to a thicket of usual. Adults have to answer questions of the kid whatever "silly" and irritating they seemed.
4. Questions of the child can show the arising fears. Having experienced the death of the grandmother, the child can be afraid that parents will die too and the prospect of own death can frighten. It is not necessary to lie to the child, promising that mom, dad and he will live forever, it is enough to tell that it will occur in many years.
5. You should not condemn the child if he does not cry and in general does not react on the death of the loved one in any way – it demonstrates not to sincere callousness, and to what the child for the present did not realize that occurred. Even in many days after the father's funeral he over and over again can ask when dad comes home. Every time quietly is necessary to adults, without showing irritation, to explain that death is forever.
6. The child for certain will want to learn where now there is a loved one. In advantageous situation there are believing people: "The grandmother left on heaven, it now good luck" sounds more optimistically, than "There is no grandmother any more". In atheistic family it is possible to focus attention on what to the dead any more will never be sick or sad, his sufferings ended – it sounds especially convincingly if before the death of people long and a serious illness had.
7. To take the child 8-9 years on burial are younger is not necessary: at this difficult procedure even adults sometimes lose self-control. Let the child will say goodbye to the dead of the house.
8. After the funeral the people are restored to usual life, but pain weakens not at once including at children. If the child starts a conversation about the dead, it is possible and it is necessary to talk to it, together to indulge in memoirs, it is possible to open a family photo album and to look at photos of the dead.