The teenage period - age, of course, difficult, but not hopeless. Competent approach and understanding, avoidance of conflict situations - all this will help adults to find a common language with the matured child.
To understand
At teenage age all problems become aggravated even if according to parents they are not so important. If the child revolts, it is necessary to find the reason, it always is. For this purpose follows as it is possible to bring him to a conversation more softly. A talk and participation in problems of the teenager will establish trusting relationship. He can not always cope with the problems alone, for this purpose and parents are necessary.
To ask
It is not necessary categorically to order to make something to the teenager. It will be better to ask, to designate importance and necessity of its help and then achievement of the desirable will be closer.
To listen
Naturally, everything is not be simple. The teenager can refuse to satisfy a request. In that case it is not necessary to shout and reproach him, try to learn why he does not want to make it. Perhaps, at him are planned for this time, some issues, important for it. Ask them to postpone or to transfer or help later when it is released. Do not forget that at this age it any more not the child makes some plans also too.
To encourage
If the teenager categorically refuses to help, even after the conversation, try to give it an incentive. Offer it for the help what he wants to receive long ago. Encouragement will not influence badly his personality, but will help to come into contact between the parent and the child.
In a situation if the teenager after all refuses to satisfy a request, you do not pass to aggression at all. It will not help but only only to aggravate a situation. The parent is more senior, wiser and is more skilled, and he has to set an example as it is necessary to behave even in such conflict environment. The teenager has to understand that all the same he should make that want from it irrespective of, he wants that or not. Tranquility and monotony in a voice, and firmness in the decision will force it to agree.
Each child – is unique and to everyone it is necessary to look for the approach, but if it is difficult to cope in a specific situation, address the qualified specialist. Perfectly the book by D. Gray "Children from heaven education lessons" will help in this case.