Today cases when the woman has to raise independently own child or children, not a rarity. Of course, the ideal option when the father shows sincere interest in the offsprings, loves them and also supports the ex-wife. However, such cases, not that a rarity, but, so to say, meet not continually. Quite often the woman is forced not only to arrange the private life, but also to look for the father for the kids. It is very difficult to raise children without men's influence, they absolutely precisely need dad. Here only, where to take it?
As the answer to a similar question can serve some recommendations of specialists psychologists which they make to single mothers who decided on creation of new family. Naturally, these councils can be useful only to those women who seriously treat this problem and think first of all of wellbeing of own children.
It can sound a dissonance to the aforesaid, but the woman dreaming of full family has to think first of all of herself. About the preferences and personal feelings. Never it will turn out to find the excellent father and the unloved husband in one person. There is such psychological axiom in questions of family and marriage — "Pledge of the happy childhood — happiness of parents". Mother who is daily in a condition of emotional discomfort will not be able to give to children of due heat and attention. And from where to undertake to comfort if not lovely and hateful person is near? Therefore the man needs to be chosen only darling!
The woman has to step "on a throat" to own feelings only in case of frank hostility of the elect to her children. In any attempt to offend or, especially, to hit the child, it is necessary to refuse the relations with the man immediately. Without waiting for the second time! Steadiness and the sober relation to life — here the main criteria in assessment of behavior of the potential father. And, the word "sober" has to be considered in all the meanings, including direct.
All the rest is endured and overcome. You should not demand, of course, "love at first sight", both from the new husband, and from children, especially, if the last already were above "malyshkovy" age. But the feeling of respect and sympathy surely will arise eventually — it is the beloved's children! It especially is probable, than the family will spend together more time. And nothing so brings together people as joint rest, for example, on a nature bosom, in amusement park, etc.
The woman, if wants excellent relationship between the stepfather and children, has to act as their active builder. As she knows the kids better, it is possible and to prompt new the family member some features of their character, a habit, tastes and the other significant moments. And everything surely will turn out!