It is important to each child to feel as a number of warmly loved one, to share with it joy, together to spend time. Unfortunately, there are children for whom it is a dream of all life. Thrown, remained orphans, they wait every day when mom comes for them. These children are ready to entrust the native person all dreams and thoughts. But sometimes it happens so that in a foster home of the relation between the child and parents do not develop, and the child becomes reserved, runs away from the house, it has secrets and secrets. How to gain trust of adopted children to become the real close-knit family?
1. If age of the child of three-four years, first of all, give it time to adapt in your house, in your family. Duration of this period depends on development of the child, on his age and attitude. The kid should get used to a new daily routine, that near it constantly there is mom that it is necessary to listen to her opinion. Help the child, explain that at this stage it is possible for him and that is undesirable, show its room, toys, a locker for things. Give it time to accustom to this space and to get used to it.
2. Do not demand from the child of too much at once as soon as you admitted him to family. Especially if you took him not at infantile age. Each person has the special lines, abilities therefore if you perfectly sing and with ease you extend operetta arias, it is not necessary to demand it and from the child. Allow him to choose work to liking.
3. Constrain the emotions if the child made something not as you wanted, insufficiently quickly or qualitatively. Explain with a quiet voice to it better why it was necessary to perform a task as it was possible to make it quicker and better. Help the kid and express hope that in the future he will listen to your words.
4. If you began to notice that at some stage the child began to become reserved, ceased to communicate with you, try to analyze this situation, remember the cases preceding it. Perhaps, several days you quarreled with it and problems in a garden or school argued, maybe, at it. In a conversation with the child use soft intonations, tell it as you love it and as to you it is important that he smiled and was in good mood. If you kept secrecy of adoption, think whether the child could learn accidentally about it, be at the softest and kind loss for words to have a talk with it.
5. The adopted child experiences the same difficulties in awkward age, as all other children. However, if he knows that he is adopted, this period can proceed more sharply: adopted children begin to have feeling of uselessness to parents, alienations, loneliness, run away to the yards and seek consolation at friends. Most show consideration for the child during this period and if at you suspicions of its communication with the bad company, of emergence of addictions crept in, you do not shout at it at all, do not make demands and ultimatums and the more so do not use force. Try to overcome all difficulties together with the child, to talk to him and to hear him, and then he, perhaps, will reveal before you, will tell what concerns him and disturbs, will acquaint with friends.
6. The main thing, be to it a friend, a support, support, you love it it what it is, you for this purpose also took it from a shelter – to love and preserve. You treat more tolerantly character of the child and habits, desires and requirements, be near during failures and enjoy progress. And then the reception kid will surely reciprocate to you, will help you with everything, but the most important is to trust.