How to get rid of dependence to parents

How to get rid of dependence to parents

Transition from children's to teenage age is followed by some distance from parents. It is the natural process called separation. The child begins to be made out as the personality, gains identity and feeling own "I". Often it is followed by the conflicts and psychological problems in family.


1. Parents have to be ready to finding by the teenager of independence, have to support and help the child in every possible way. Not always adults are ready to accept and understand these changes. The teenager begins to ask questions: "Why I?", "Who I am?". He understands that an exit to the world of adults has to be carried out by more certain personality, than "the child of the parents".

2. The teenager has to begin to try on on himself different new roles, other behavior models. It needs to be done in society, leaving family. But the child has to be firmly convinced that parents provide him the reliable back and protection. That is, having tried on some role and having failed, the teenager can return and be restored to find for himself something new.

3. It turns out that the strong healthy family gives to the child more chances for independence. If the teenager plays in family roles to him unusual, it will be more difficult to get rid of dependence on parents. The child nurse, the child conciliator, the child tutor cannot so just leave family, it in this case will begin to fall.

4. Parents can unconsciously begin to blackmail the teenager with exacerbation of the diseases, phrases "you are necessary to nobody there", "nobody so will fall in love with you as we", "you will not be able to survive in the cruel world". These words prevent already the adult to get rid of emotional dependence on parents, he will not be able to construct full-fledged family with the elect.

5. If the office occurs successfully, and it is a huge merit of mom and dad, emotional separation leads to communication as equals. The teenager participates in a talk and affairs of family as the full-fledged personality, he is more open and frank, knows well that he at any time can ask about the help.

6. Having noticed at itself signs of fear of the outside world, strong dependence on opinion of parents, you are not silent, discuss this problem with family. Explain to your relatives and favourite people that are very grateful for care, but you need to begin to live independently. Do not make a claim at all and do not accuse parents. Consider the words to exclude a possibility of causing offense.

7. Surely tell about the love for mom and dad, about the hope for their help and support, about the desire to accept their councils. The separation of already grown up child from parents does not mean at all that their relations stop and does not exclude a possibility of mutual aid.

Author: «MirrorInfo» Dream Team