Not each person has leadership skills and dreams to be the leader. Parents have to understand it and if at them the quiet and modest child with quiet temperament grows, not to try to change it. The main task of each parent is to bring up the person believing in himself and knowing the own worth. And, though the self-assessment is formed throughout all human life, already since the birth of the kid it is necessary to conform to certain rules.
Instruction
1. From the very first days of life of the child listen to it. Learn to understand that its requests mean, do not ignore its crying, answer his smile and babble. To the kid has to know that he came to the benevolent world where it is loved and reckon with his opinion. Show the love despite everything even if you were tired or are upset with his behavior. It will be a basis of his self-confidence.
2. Do not compare the child to other children and do not criticize. You can condemn its acts, but do not criticize him. For example, if it unintentionally broke something or broke instead of punishing him, try to correct breakage together. The habit at once to correct the error will help with future life much more, than readiness for self-abasement.
3. It would seem, the more the child is allowed - the more he believes in himself. But having got used to do everything what is wanted, without recognizing restrictions in principle, the child will not manage to behave adequately in the adult world. Establish for it a framework, but let at once there will be not many restrictions. You enter into your contract with the kid new it "is impossible" gradually. Begin with the most sore, for example: "We do not take away a toy from other children any more, we do not beat girls".
4. Allow the child to help you: to fold linen in washing, to remove the dried things, etc. Praise it even if he will make something awkwardly. The kid will feel that his help is appreciated, and with pleasure will want to help you still.
5. Do not laugh at the child. Especially in public. There is nothing more humiliating. Especially if it is laughter of dear people to whom he got used to trust. Do not tell at the kid about his misses, about how he mixed the right boot with left. It can force the child to forget about attempts to put on independently. He will be afraid to be mistaken and look funny again.
6. Accustom him to freedom of choice, do not solve everything for the child. Let sometimes the kid himself choose what cap to him to put on what to eat for breakfast, with whom and what to play. Then he will learn to make decisions and to work.
7. Encourage him if something is impossible to it. Try to instill in it confidence that it can do everything. In a difficult situation your words will be remembered and will help it.
8. In communication with the child try to use less phrases, similar to these: "Do not run, you will fall! Do not touch, you will break!". Allow it to gain own experience.
9. Do not demand from the child impossible, you do not hurry him. If he hesitates to recite verses on a kindergarten holiday, do not insist. If, having got agitated, he forgets words – it can fight for a long time off him desire to public statements. Let he at first will act in the bosom of the family, and already then, having found confidence in the forces, will step on "the big stage".
10. You praise it. In communication with future persons, self-assured, special language is necessary. Remember: not "an unclear scribble" - and "an alien animal". Emphasize that what it does, - is good. When the kid stops drawing, suggest to hang up the drawing on a wall in its room. And at the end give advice on the future: "To you it is necessary that it is better to draw paints lines, but to smear them according to all leaf?"
11. Form a positive image of parents. Never you say: "You are "such-syakoy", all in the father!" or in mom. If parents praise each other, mom to say: "You are clever, just like your dad!", and the father will notice: "You are hardworking, all in mom!" - the kid surely will understand that such wonderful parents can have only a wonderful child.
12. The loving parents are not the only people whose opinion the child should face. Therefore estimate its progress adequately and most objectively. Let it really realize the forces, knows that it at it turns out that is not present. You teach it not to be given and repeat attempts. Do not play "the adoring parents" that your child did not depend on others opinion. Self-confidence is also ability to develop independently, without looking for approval of people around.