Parents whose children suffer from school uneasiness well know some signs and signals. There is several advice which will help to teach children to cope with their concern and to prepare parents for training of their children for life at school.
In what a difference between clinical alarm of the child before school and him ""Do not I just want to go to school today""?
It is necessary to look at behavior of the kid. If parents notice such signs as congestion or a stress, then, most likely, their child suffers from school concern. In this case children, also as well as adults, often use type phrases: ""I cannot just make it" ", " "It will never become better for me" ", " "Will always be so, and nothing will change""; they see life only in black-and-white tones.
At children who just do not want to go to school the problem is connected with motivation, and there are other things which they prefer to do.
Whether it is easy for parents to distinguish this type of concern?
As a rule, the concern, especially concern at school, worsens on Mondays. It is very difficult for such children to pass of the days off when they have a lot of free time and there is no schedule, by school week with its structure. Therefore if the child has a school concern, parents will begin to notice that in the mornings on Monday it is especially difficult to bring together the child in school. In this case, they should remain consecutive, to keep calm and also, the most important, to operate own concern that it did not pass to children.
Whether the alarm can be transferred to children from parents?
Some children, as well as some adults, are inclined to be more sensitive, including, they can easier move to concern. Therefore parents have to remember what signals they give to the children. For example, three things which do not help at alarm are a confidence in its absence, derivation of attention and avoiding.
Whether parents can cause concern in the child concerning school?
Of course, or even to strengthen it. Many parents are afraid of a talk with the child about with what he is not satisfied by school. For example, when the parent meets the child from school, and sees that he looks sad, he, naturally, will ask: ""What happened?"" And then they will spend all the time from school to the house to discuss difficulties. But it is quite misleading. It is impossible to consider school day only in aspect of its difficulties. It is necessary to draw the attention of the child that there was at school something good. It is necessary to ask it: ""Hi! How was your day? Tell me what was today interesting at school?"" And already then it is worth passing to in what there were difficulties.
How to talk to the child about it if there is no wish to react too strongly?
It is necessary to present the plane which got to turbulence. The stewardess will not run to and fro along the corridor, embracing passengers and providing them additional cookies because it looks very strange. Any person in this situation will want that the stewardess was quiet and brought together because it gives a sense of security.
Parents need also to keep calm, and, depending on age of the child, to tell: "" I really care for you, but I want you to be surer therefore when you are in school and you experience difficulties, I want you to know that you can address the teacher"".