When in family there is a new person - it is rather stressful situation if this new person - the stepfather. If the child absolutely small, then, as a rule, problems does not arise as growing up, he just will not remember that time when the stepfather near it was not. It will be more difficult with children of conscious age. Even more difficult those who initially had a happy family consisting of mom and dad and then parents left and beloved dad was succeeded by the unfamiliar man. Naturally, the child will not accept him with open arms. It is very heavy to mom to observe how two relatives to her the person clash therefore it is important to know how it is possible to improve the relations between the new spouse and the child.
Instruction
1. First of all, mom has no right to feel guilty for the fact that began to communicate with other man. The woman has the right and for personal happiness, and the child can perceive in bayonets the man only at first, showing the significant role in this family.
2. Most of all child worries that mom will love him much less, than the new husband and here about it it is worth talking and dispelling fears of the kid. It is necessary to tell it that mom will never be able to love the child less than any man, love of children special, to men completely different and concerning it you should not experience love.
3. It is also necessary to enter correctly the new person into family, to make it not sharply, and gradually. At first it is necessary to acquaint the child with the stepfather in the neutral territory, to organize joint walks, visits of cinema, and only then directly to enter it into family.
4. It is very important that the man was interested in improving the relations with the kid. He has to do everything to gain trust of the child. Children very sensitively feel falseness and insincerity therefore to deceive them not to turn out.
5. It is the best of all that the man was interested in what is loved by the child, it will be so simpler to find subjects for contact, it is possible them will be valid much.
6. It is not necessary to try to put the man to the place of the father if the father is already available for the child, and the kid communicates with him, otherwise there can be a strong offense and even hatred. Dad is dad, and the stepfather is completely different, at the beginning he has to be just good friend.
7. At the child it is never impossible to compare the ex-husband to present, for him anyway native dad will be always better.
8. It is impossible at all that the stepfather unflatteringly spoke of native dad of the child even if for this purpose there are bases. Such issues should be resolved exclusively together, without participation of the little person.
9. It is necessary to show that the new spouse very wise that he is a head of the family that it is always possible to ask it for the help and council. Let the child understand that the stepfather - his main support.
10. If mom is able competently to organize the child's relations with the stepfather, then she will manage to avoid many unpleasant situations.