Each child, coming to our world, does not bear with itself any bad intentions but why then over time it unexpectedly has friends about whom parents did not hear? Why these friends for children become closer, than parents?
Teachers claim that often teenagers try to give up friendship unusual on character with it the child. If it is simpler to speak, then the timid, diffident and clamped girl will follow close that who already in passed fourteen through thick and thin. The timid guy will be on friendly terms with the brave boy, and obedient – with the squabbler. Of course, parents, having learned about similar friendship, begin to worry: whether will begin to manipulate and exploit the child them him. Whether the child from quiet and peaceful will turn into uncontrollable and arrogant?
Ways of solution of problems
Sadly, but many parents do the same mistake in such cases: forbid the child to be on friendly terms and play with some children. Whether it is possible to achieve results in such a way? It is possible if the parental authority is incredibly high. But, in most cases, children begin to do everything to spite of parents as their own contradiction and governs them. The child just ceases to tell the parents about where he was with whom it was and that it did, that is parents become a little informed. Such "secret", or "shadow" friendship – incredibly fascinating occupation which is crowded with adventures and reserve and what child will refuse adventures and an opportunity to conduct "double" life?
Instead of the bans it is possible to use other, more productive method: to allow the child to be on friendly terms, and to make it it is necessary in all sincerity, kind of heavy was. It is impossible to take a jaundiced view to all new friends of the child, the new friend only initially looks conflict and uncontrollable, and in practice it appears the wonderful person. Try to look at new friends of the child on the other hand and try to find in them something good and attractive (after all, your child in them saw something). But if to you teenage criminals came to the house actually, do not expel them if let in, and do not worry. Explain to the child the opinion. By the way, it should be noted for calm of parents – children's friendship is in most cases transient. Sometimes it is necessary to wait, and the situation itself "will resolve". For example, after vacation, travel or camps.
Switching of interests
There is also it that your child just lacks interests and hobbies in life, and there, in that company, to him offer "friendship to a coffin", adventures, adventures and risk. Some children, for example, try to leave "hare" as it is possible further from the house, it is interesting to them. Someone is engaged in quieter affairs in the company of friends – makes fires, goes on the woods. Someone tries to ride the motorcycle not to pass for the weakling. As you can see, opportunities to receive thrills, as well as ways to ego-trip, a set.
It is necessary to try to switch the child to some occupation which completely would satisfy its thirst for adventures. For example, it can be sections, such as volleyball, boxing, rock-climbing, parachute jumps. But, except such extreme sports there are also circles of speleology, archeology and tourism. It is much better when the child, for example, climbs rocks and goes to a campaign under observation and the guide of the instructor, than vanishes it is unknown where and it is unknown with whom.
What to do if the child already in the bad company?
If the child "was involved" about bad crowd, it is necessary to find to it the reason. Often in such company there is a child who is feeling like the derelict – houses do not understand, in a class despise … What else to do to it? Only to make friends with hooligans: be surprised and envy!
Probe the soil: whether to really your child it is comfortable with friends, or he is on friendly terms with them to spite of others? Most likely, he also is dissatisfied with such friendship, and the help to ask there is nobody or it is just terrible. In that case let it know that you will not abuse it at all that he knew – you will accept it anyway.