Certainly, that the child did not turn into the little house tyrant, it is necessary to establish for him a certain framework of behavior. But how to react if the kid does not take seriously your words and refuses to obey? There are 4 receptions which in this case work.
1. To count to three. You already several times asked the kid to remove toys into place or reminded him that without the permission it cannot turn on the TV, but the kid still continues to ignore you. What should I do? If the child does not obey in any situation, in the beginning it is necessary to warn him that can follow his disobedience. Tell that you will count up to three. Do it loudly to draw its attention. Rare children can resist ""pressing"" of a countdown. Provided that your prevention will be followed by real punishment. Ideally it has to be adequate to his offense. And - attention! - do not cheat. If you continue to count up to ten, then can lose the parental authority.
2. To rely on ingenuity and good mood.
To force itself to obey, to optional use coercion. The humour, a game, ingenuity can sometimes be more effective, than the direct requirement. Dasha in bad mood also refuses to touch a dinner? Turn it into a joke: ""Leave Dasha, opposite soup, you spoil her appetite! And she needs forces to go for a walk with friends"". Reacting to a situation: with humour, you create the positive atmosphere in which the child will relax and will want to participate in your game.
3. To speak in a whisper. There is one more very effective remedy helping when the child is in the overexcited state. Instead of answering it with voices raised, address it: quietly also ask: ""Approach me, I want to tell you something"". The intrigued and a little confused kid will calm down to listen that you want to tell him. Then bend to him and about whisper on an ear: ""You know that at us today for dinner? Your favourite pasta with cheese. Therefore I ask you not to eat cookies right now"". Perhaps, it is not enough to distract the child from his ""fixed idea"", but the situation will definitely not be such intense. 4. To place emphasis on good behavior. Yes, let the kid not always obeys you. But everything, there are moments when he behaves as the ideal child! For example, that day when it collected the toys independently, without excess arrangements. Or when unexpectedly shared candies with the brother. Do not forget to note such acts and to praise the child. ""You have in the room an ideal order, you big well done!" ";" "As it is remarkable that you gave a half of the candies the brother. You are very kind, I am proud of you". These words not only will cause desire again to repeat the good act in the child, but also will raise its self-assessment. There are also 5 tactics from which it is worth refraining. 1. To be let in long explanations. Better clearly and accurately to formulate: a request, than to organize long conversations. Instead of: ""I want you to play with the brother because he very much loves you. When you were three years old, you always wanted to play with the senior children..."" and so on, just tell: ""Ilyusha, show to the brother how to play this game, and play with him together"".2. It is infinite to repeat the words. It is not necessary to repeat the same to the kid several times. Otherwise he can decide that he is simply not capable to understand that want from it from the first. Besides, it will have a habit to react to your requests only after the fifth or sixth reminder. And it, you see, is necessary for nobody. Therefore better to say once and if the kid does not hear, quietly, without shouts to pay his attention once again to about what you asked it: ""Look, your pajamas lies on a floor. Lift it, please, and carry in a laundry basket"". If the child still does not obey, remind him what can occur if he does not make it: ""Differently I will switch off DVD and instead of watching animated films, you will go to the room"". Both only in case the baby also this time does not want to obey you, pass to actions.3. To threaten. Often follows numerous memoirs threats: "I warn you if you do not remove, did from the designer, scattered on a floor, I will throw out him in garbage" "or" "If you do not return at a table now, you are more when you are not, is together with guests"". Very often we afford excessive threats which in actual fact are empty. And the child quickly understands it. 4. To pretend as if nothing happened. Each of us had situations when we tried to disguise impoliteness of the child in the opinion of people around explanations it seems: ""He spent the whole day in kindergarten, and the discharge is necessary for it. Besides it still small, to it it is pardonable"". But it is not the best tactics, as a result the baby can think, such this command is acceptable, next time will not understand why it is impossible to overtake and part forcibly people around as soon as possible to enter the tram or to spin as a spinning top around a bus.5 hand-rail. To accuse. ""You bad" ", " "Stop behaving as small" ", " "Well why you are always such intolerable!"". How many phrases even if told without malicious intent, eventually, make at the child an impression that he bad (whereas actually it only does something not as you consider correct). Understand: similar phrases will not force it to change the behavior to the best, it is rather even on the contrary. That to avoid it, next time let the child know that it is not him, and in how he behaves: ""To take away a toy from the brother - not the best act"". Set conditions of implementation of your rules. To establish rules - it is good! But if we want the child to see in them sense, it is necessary still that they were: - Clear. The kid has to know that it is authorized to him and that it is forbidden to do in the house and why. For example, you do not allow it to take independently products from the fridge because you watch that its food was healthy and balanced. - Concrete. The child has to understand accurately that you from him wait. Your phrase ""you tired me, calm down!"" to it it will be not really clear. Better to say: ""Please, do not shout in the car"". Invariable. Rules should not change depending on your mood or time of day. If today you allow it to jump on a sofa in the living room, and tomorrow forbid, he will not understand it. - Logical. You - an example of behavior for your kid. So set it an example! If you force, there is a broccoli, and put it to edge of a plate, it is not logical. In the same way if you demand from the child not to pronounce rough words, see to the speech. - Had consequences. All children have from time to time a desire to overstep the limits of legal. Therefore they have to know that their acts will surely have consequences. For example, if the child eats in front of TVs, it is forbidden, force him then to vacuum a sofa. To punish, but how? You asked the child already three times to lift a jacket from a floor. But he only darted a defiant glance at you and does not move. You have no choice, the kid needs to be punished. Otherwise, confident in the impunity, next time he will behave only worse. But be careful: do not deprive of its walks for a month at all! The ""Correct"" punishment has to be realistic, short and easily executable at present. The child refuses to lift a jacket? Close him for a while in the room. He abandoned the toy truck into the head to the younger brother? Take away from it a toy.