Education at children of the correct relation to a matter of life and death is an important duty of parents. It is necessary to think over how to report to the child that the loved one did not become. As the kid will apprehend news that dad died or mom died, depends on that, how correctly you tell it about death. The hard duty falls on the one who will undertake to inform the kid on a sad event.
Instruction
1. It is necessary to report to the child about death loved one at once how it was sore to you at present. Overdue news can engender at it mistrust, anger and offense at relatives.
2. Choose the quiet, lonely place and take care of that there was enough time for a conversation.
3. Has to tell about death the closest to the kid of people to whom he trusts and with whom will divide the gushed grief. The more he will find supports at him, the easier there will take place adaptation to new vital conditions (without dad or mom).
4. During the conversation touch the child. Take him by hand, embrace, put on knees. The corporal contact will allow it to feel protected, will soften blow, will help to recover from shock.
5. Gain strength and pronounce words "died", "funeral", "death". Especially small children, having heard that "dad forever fell asleep", can subsequently refuse to sleep. You tell the truth. If the dead was ill, and the child knew about it, then talk about it. If there was an accident, then tell about misfortune, since that moment as he left it. React to his words and feelings, you monitor its reaction. As far as possible be sensitive at this moment. Do not forbid it to show the emotions. Not lived feeling of a grief – basis for psychosomatic diseases further.
6. Perhaps, the kid will begin to ask questions of what will happen to the native person after the funeral. Tell that to him it is not painful, not cold, food, light and air is not necessary. His body "broke", and it is impossible "to repair" it. But at the same time, you have to explain that most of people recover, cope with traumatized and live long.
7. Tell about what happens to soul of the person, proceeding from the religious representations accepted at you in family. If you are at a loss, then ask for the help the priest who will help to be to you at proper words.
8. Find time for the child during mournful preparations. If he behaves quietly and disturbs nobody, it does not mean that it does not need attention and correctly understands the events. Find out in what it mood, sit near it and find out what he would like. Do not reproach him if he wants to play. But refuse to play with him, having explained that you are upset.
9. Keep to the kid a day regimen. And if it is not against, ask it to render the feasible help, for example, in table layout. Ordinary affairs can calm even the grieving adults.
10. It is considered that the child can participate in farewell to the dead and understand point of a funeral from 2.5 years. It is not necessary to force to be present it at burial if he does not want it to do, or to shame for it. Tell it about what will occur: dad will put in a coffin, will lower in a hole, will cover with earth. On this place the monument will be put in the spring, the family can visit him, bring flowers.
11. Let's the kid say goodbye to the dead, tell him as it needs to be done. Also do not reproach him if it is not able to touch to the dead.
12. During the funeral near the child constantly there has to be a person who will be with him and will be able to support him, to console. And maybe it that he will lose interest in events, will want to play, – it is normal. Anyway, it will be that person who will be able to depart with the kid and not to wait for the end of a ritual.
13. Do not hesitate to cry at children and to show the feelings: to you it is sad, and you will miss it very much. But try to do without hysterics, otherwise children can be frightened.
14. Subsequently remember the died person. You speak about the ridiculous cases which happened to him and the dead since laughter transforms misfortune to light grief. It will help to realize the event once again and to host it. That the child did not get sensation of fear that someone from the family or he will die, do not calm him a lie, and tell honestly that people die all sooner or later. But you are going to die very old and will try not to leave his one. Do not use an image of the dead for formation at the kid of desirable behavior, for example: "Do not roar, dad learned to be you a man, and it would not be pleasant to him".