Mom is a loved one for the child. It is hard to say to the kid that there is no mom any more. But it is necessary to make it. Close relatives have to be at the correct loss for words to tell the child terrible news and to help it to cope with a grief.
Experience of a meeting of the child with the death of people close to it plays a huge role in his further life. Parents are obliged to impart to children since early years the wise relation to death and life. When at the child mom dies, it is necessary to think over each word before reporting about it to the kid. From what relation to death to the child was imparted by parents, how he will accept bereavement depends.
Whether it is worth speaking to the child about the death of mother?
Nine months till the birth the child makes a single whole with mother. This period leaves behind hidden communication of the baby with the woman, communication psychological and emotional which is difficult for breaking off. Therefore reaction of the child on the death of mother can be very unpredictable.
Close relatives can doubt such situations whether it is worth reporting to the child at once that there is no mom any more. But doubts arise only from cowardice, the child will react to a grief, and it is necessary to face this reaction. It is necessary to report to the child about the death of mom at once. Only this way it is possible to prevent formation of negative attitude of the kid to itself, to relatives, to all life in general.
Councils of psychologists: what to be at loss for words
The kids who did not reach three-year age have a few ideas of death, especially, if parents did not speak about it. Such child needs to tell that there is no mom any more and to emphasize that he did not remain one, with him there will be dad, the grandmother, the aunt. "The kid, it is difficult for you to call words what occurs in soul because you are still too small. Give, we with you will draw? You will choose pencils of those flowers which best of all reflect your state. What pencil do you want to take?" Possibly, at first all drawings of the small child will be black, dark, gloomy. It is normal, so the kid splashes out the pain. Children from 3 to 6 years know more about death, but are sure that it will never concern their family. At this age children feel dependence on parents, and the death of mother will inevitably cause fear and sense of guilt. Adults have to block these processes right at the beginning. It is important to explain that mom died, but there is no fault of the kid in it. It is necessary to accept any emotion of the child which arises as reaction on the death of mom. If it is anger, let it will be splashed out, the grief needs to be shared, to remove sense of guilt. "The kid, you are angry with mom for the fact that she does not exist any more? But she is not guilty of that. Your rage will not change the incident. Let's look better at mother's photos, and we will remember what it was remarkable. How you think what it would tell you now?" School students and teenagers know about death practically everything. But they all the same need support. It is important to them to know that with leaving of mom they did not remain some. "I understand that you shared all secrets with mom. It is unlikely I will be able to replace to you her. But I want you to know: you can always trust in me, I will always help you. You are not lonely, I am with you".