"I would like that my child was more independently" - many mothers say, but make the actions opposite to the words. They dress and undress the children, feed them from a spoon, and on firm children's "I" often answer "not now". And then suddenly begin to demand from the child of independence.
Crisis of three years, or in a different way crisis ""I"" - a great time to begin to bring up the child to be independent. During this period the kid has a need to ego-trip in this world, to become more independent and independent. And it becomes vital requirement.
Some parents intentionally ignore this requirement as: "It still absolutely small. Here will grow up then itself will eat, put on, choose what to play, etc. And now it has for this purpose me! Is more useless to deprive of the child of the childhood". But when this will come "will grow up"? In 7 years? In 10? Or in 18?
Others cannot teach the kid of independence as they on it have no time: "Now we are late therefore I will dress you and I will feed from a spoon. And we will study then!" Already every day.
Really, to teach the kid to put on, eat, remove independently the toys, a lot of time will be required. But depriving of the kid of independence and independence, parents risk to grow up the infantile and diffident person.
What needs to be done that the child was independent?
Psychologists and teachers developed a number of rules, conforming to which, parents will be able to bring up the independent child:
1. To turn the house into the developing space
It is not so difficult to make it. On the one hand, the house has to be safe for the kid therefore it is necessary to remove all dangerous, sharp objects and household chemicals above. And on the other hand, the house should not limit the child: let it will have an opportunity to move, glance freely in all boxes, cases, to look at the objects which are stored there, to touch them.
Besides, the child has to have the place in the house, the desktop, the case and the things of which he can dispose voluntarily. He can equip the shelf in the bathroom that he could wash independently. It is possible to allocate him the shelf in kitchen where its personal ware, 2-3 types of having a snack will be stored (cookies, bar and bun, for example) that he could eat independently when he feels hunger.
2. To cease to help with affairs which the kid is already able to do independently
Kind of strongly soul and a body did not seek to help and make everything for the child, it is necessary to stop itself in time. The one-year-old kid can eat with a fork or a spoon, let it is not ideal, but nevertheless. In 1.5-2 years the child can independently take off shorts, skirts, t-shirts, jackets. In 3 years the kid himself can pull on himself tights, trousers, a jacket, outerwear.
Let him make an effort, puffs and snuffles, but tries to do it independently. If after several attempts the kid asks for help, then it is necessary to do not instead of him, and together with him.
3. As often as possible to give to the child an opportunity to choose
The inability to make the decision is a trouble of many vozrosly. And the root of this problem lies in the childhood. Mom chose clothes, toys, circles and sections. The grandmother decided what and in what quantity her grandson how many it is necessary additives wants to eat. And it is good if on it "the love and care" come to an end. Some parents choose with whom their children can be on friendly terms, where to arrive with whom to get married. And then are surprised why their "child" in 25 differs from vegetable a little.
Therefore it is important to give to the child the chance to choose as often as possible. Let the casual clothes lie in the place, available to it, that, gathering for walk, he could choose that to it to put on. Even if he will choose the yellow t-shirts which are not combined among themselves, green trousers and red socks. Let in cold season he, having felt that at it hands froze, itself will ask to help to put on to it gloves. In shop when shopping it is possible to suggest it to choose from 2-3 alternatives.
4. To give to the child it is so much time how many it will be required to it
Owing to the age and physical development, the child makes even any simple operation much longer, than the adult. But the more often he will make the same action, the quicker and better at it it will turn out. Therefore you should not hurry to do something for it. Final if mom dresses the child, then on collecting will leave much less time. But also the kid will longer study.
If parents want their child in a bed result to become the mature, independent, harmoniously developed personality, then it is necessary to stock up with patience. And ""give phrases, I better itself will make"" should not be said at the child.
5. Let the child will become an assistant
Many parents try to do household chores during absence or the child's dream as it does not distract and does not disturb. Yes, so to do really conveniently. But you should not forget that to accustom the child to help adults in 2 years more simply, than with 10.
Therefore it is necessary to try to involve as often as possible the child in house cleaning, in cooking, in work on the seasonal dacha. Yes, so housework will demand to receive more time, but the child a heap of knowledge and skills which will be useful to it in the future.
In process of growing it is possible to assign household chores which he can do to the child. For example, to spray flowers, to wipe dust in the room, to set the table. So the kid since childhood to learn to respect and appreciate work, and, with high probability, will not grow up the thoughtless consumer.
6. To remember that the child has the right to be mistaken
When the child to learn to do something new, and at the same time makes a mistake - it is normal. He can drop, spill, put on back to front. And before abusing, criticizing or making a remark, it is worth thinking: whether and everything at adults always turns out from the first without mistakes?
The less criticism more support, the quicker the child to learn to realize the mistakes and to avoid them.
Principles of the organization of the house environment
The house environment has to be equipped so that as much as possible independence was provided to the child:
- To put convenient lockers, hangers, hooks that it was simpler to child to get and put away clothes independently.
- To buy clothes with convenient fasteners, velcros, buttons, etc.
- Toys, books, objects for creativity have to be in free access that the child could get and move away them always.
- To equip a dignity knot so that the child without effort could reach the crane, use means of hygiene and a towel.
- The pot or nozzle for a toilet bowl have to be in free access too.
- Rags, broom or brush have to be available to the child that he could always clean up too.
At the end it would be desirable to note that the independence is a first step on the way to responsibility. And here responsibility is the line inherent in the strong personality. If parents want that their child became the strong personality, then it is necessary to cultivate in him independence at early age.