Unfortunately, this problem is familiar to all parents of teenagers. How do psychologists advise to behave in such situation?
You are not rude and do not raise the voice in reply
The main rule when you face roughness of the teenager in your address – you are not rude in reply and do not raise the voice. The mistake of many parents is that trying "to put the child into place" they cease to control the emotions, allowing aggression and roughness in relation to the child. In it the moment you become a negative example for the child, and it will reproduce further such destructive behavior model in any conflict situation – houses, at school, with teachers and peers.
Therefore, in any situation communicate with the teenager frostily. If you feel that you begin "to be brought", do not answer roughness immediately, and let's themselves several seconds calm down – mentally count up to 10 or make several deep breaths.
The teenager is rude – not "on the evil" to parents
Parents, facing sharp changes in behavior and roughness of the teenage children, often see in it emergence of ingratitude, aspiration to make counter to and to spite of parental will. Believe, the child revolts not against you, not against that good that you for him made. This desire simply peculiar to this age to ego-trip, achieve respect in the opinion of people around. The child tries to be an adult, applies for communicating "as the adult". But its idea of how the adult often has to behave is very distorted, as is shown in the form of roughness.
Explain to the teenager as it is correct to communicate
Do not take offense at the teenager, but at the same time let know that to violate the norms of communication inadmissibly. You do not hurry to punish, especially, if for the first time faced manifestation of roughness. Tell the teenager that you feel in communication him behavior that you are very upset.
Can seem to you that the teenager himself perfectly understands that he told and made not so. But in that frequent and put that does not understand! Therefore it is important to communicate with the teenager, to explain him rules of conduct in compliance with its new, "adult" role.
Discuss with the teenager his behavior, but not in the form of notations and so that to push him independently to draw a conclusion on inadmissibility of roughness in communication. You can ask that he would feel and as itself arrived on your place.
The teenager sharply feels the need for recognition and respect – show that you appreciate him and you respect his point of view, but you demand the same respectful behavior and from its party.