We offer several secrets of the kind relations with children.
Awakening of the child
It is not necessary to awake the child, he can have feeling of hostility to mother who bothers it eternally, pulling down a blanket. He can shudder in advance when she enters the room: ""Get up, you will be late"". It is much better to teach him to use the alarm clock. It is better to buy the alarm clock and, presenting it, to somehow beat a situation: ""This alarm clock will be only yours, it will help you to rise in time and always to be in time"".
If the child gets up hardly, it is not necessary to tease him with ""sluggard"", not to get into a dispute over an occasion of ""the last minutes"". It is possible to resolve an issue in a different way: to deliver to the shooter for five minutes earlier: ""Yes, I understand, there is no wish to rise today for some reason. Lie down five more minutes"".
These words create the atmosphere of warmth and good, contrary to shouts.
It is possible to turn on more loudly radio. When the child is hurried in the morning, often he does still more slowly. It is its natural reaction, its powerful weapon in fight against the schedule which does not suit it.
It is not necessary to hurry once again, better to say the exact time and to specify when it has to finish what does: "" In 10 minutes you should leave in school"". ""7 hours, in 30 minutes we sit down at a table"".
Exit in school
If the child forgot to put the textbook, a breakfast, points in a bag; it is better to stretch them silently, than to be let in an intense reasoning on his forgetfulness and irresponsibility.
""Here your points"", - it is better, than ""Really I will live up to that time when you learn to put points"".
Not to abuse and not to reprimand before school. At parting better to say: ""Let everything will be good today"", than ""Look, behave well, do not play about"". It is more pleasant to child to hear a confidential phrase: ""Let's meet at two o'clock"", than ""After school do not gad anywhere, at once home"".
Return from school
Not to ask questions on which children give habitual answers.
- How are you at school? - Normally. - And what was done today? - And anything. What received? Etc.
Remember yourself as this question sometimes irritated, especially when estimates did not meet expectation from parents (""they need my estimates, but not I""). Observe the child what emotions ""are written"" at him on a face. (""Day was difficult? You, probably, hardly waited for the end. You are glad what came home?"").
""Dad came"". Let will have a rest, will read newspapers, it is not necessary to bring down on it all complaints and requests. Let when in the evening, at supper, all family assembled, it is possible to talk, but behind food it is better about good, heart-to-heart. It brings together family.
It is time to sleep
Preschool children and younger school students it is better for parents (mother and father) to put to bed. If it is before going to bed confidential to talk to it, to listen, calm attentively fears, to show that you understand the child, then he will learn to open soul and will be exempted from fears, alarm, will quietly fall asleep.
It is not necessary to get into a dispute if the child reports that he forgot to wash and drink.
Several short rules
— Show to the child that he is loved it what it is, but not his achievements.
— It is never impossible (even in a fit of temper) to say to the child that he is worse than others.
— It is necessary to answer whenever possible honestly and patiently any questions of the child.
— Try to find every day time to stay alone with the child.
— You teach the child freely and to communicate easy not only with the peers, but also with adults.
— Do not hesitate to emphasize that you are proud of it.
— Be honest in estimates of the feelings to the child.
— Always you tell to the child the truth, even when it is unprofitable to you.
— Estimate only acts, but not the child.
— Do not try to obtain success by force. Coercion is the worst option of moral education. Coercion in family creates the atmosphere of destruction of the identity of the child.
— Recognize the rights of the child for mistakes.
— Think of children's bank of happy memoirs.
— The child treats himself as adults treat him.
— And in general, though sometimes put yourself to the place of the child, and then it will be more clear how to behave with him.