In communication with the children we, sometimes, make mistakes, without thinking that over time they collect, and the child can be discharged of us. How to avoid it?
Instruction
1. Find time for the child, postpone affairs if he came to share something with you. Listening to the child it is necessary to face it, will fall by one level with it or to sit down near it. If he is upset with something, then put him on knees or take by hand. Your child has to feel that you are interested in his story.
2. If the kid says that to him it is sad or terrible, it is necessary to pay attention to it. From your words ""it is nonsense, continue to play"" the fear or grief at it will not disappear, he will remain in private with this feeling, will understand that there is with it something not so, will begin to be ashamed of it and ""will be closed"". Share its feelings, speaking approximately so: "Now to you it is terrible or sad - it is normal, I too at your age felt it …".
3. Stop teaching, giving advice, to criticize, warn and accuse. Most often it does not affect children. They feel your pressure, boredom, fault, disrespect for independence. The similar position of the parent, parent "from above" irritates the child, its desire will not share something. And, above all - at the child the low self-assessment will be created.
4. Do you want the child to listen to you? Then you speak to him about the feelings and experiences. You speak from the first person, about yourself, but not about the child and his behavior. For example: "It is unpleasant to me if in the bedroom it is so dirty". Such messages allow to express us negative feelings in shape, not offensive for the child.
5. Rules, requirements, restrictions and the bans in family between parents have to be agreed. The child needs to explain them, but they should not be too much. Avoid authoritative style of education, consider feelings, interests and needs of the child, without forgetting, of course, and about own.