Why the child does not obey also what to do in the circumstances? The mother of many children and the professional teacher tells.
I am mom of three children, I will share with you the checked knowledge and effective ways how to make that the child obeyed. Children, of course, flowers of life, our lyubimk and other mi-mi-mi. But they source of nervous breakdowns, bad mood and lot of experiences.
Usually punish for bad behavior. And whether it is necessary? I will tell what to do if the kid goes into hysterics, becomes hysterical, snaps and it seems not operated at all.
The bad behavior does not depend on age. The kid in 2 years can revolt also as the child in 7 years. We were so brought up and we try to explain or teach that parents should obey. On a request to describe the well-mannered child, most often I hear:" Polite, obedient, in clean clothes, smiling that obeyed mom and did not get involved in the history"".
Let's be honest, and we will continue: "He does not prevent to sit on social networks or just in the computer, waits so far we will speak by phone". Smiled? And now it is serious – so does not happen. The famous pediatrician Komarovsky considers: "Children have to be thin and with a pricker in a bum".
Now about the main thing. Let's sort children's psychology.
Main reasons for bad behavior:
- Shortage of attention.
- The underestimated self-assessment.
- Physical illness (is ill, wants to eat, etc.).
The children's psychology is arranged in such a way that if the child lacks your attention, or he does not feel like the significant person to whose opinion listen, then he will remind in any ways of it. Now you know about a source of hysterics and disobedience.
What to do that obeyed?
The most important is to restore the lost contact and to establish the reason of bad behavior. If the physical illness can be eliminated at once, having taken concrete measures. For example, will put to bed or allow to eat, over psychological problems it is necessary to work. And about it it is more serious.
2 steps which will help to improve behavior
Step 1. To fill the shortage of attention.
It can achieve if:
- to spend at least 15 minutes a day with the kid. If several children, then find time for everyone. During this period be engaged only in what is wanted by the child;
- to be interested in opinion when choosing clothes;
- to ask that he wants for lunch / dinner.
The child is more senior, the more time needs to be found. Ideally the minimum period of time – 30 minutes. Well we are busy and so on therefore begin from 15 minutes. The list for choice can be infinite, I wrote the basic, show quickness.
The child has to be sure that reckon with his opinion. Any professional psychologist will begin the work with it.
Step 2. To raise a self-assessment to the child.
Has to guard you if the child says:
– I will not be able.
– At me it will not turn out.
– I am bad.
– I am stupid.
The list can be continued indefinitely, the essence is clear. Having heard similar phrases do not even doubt – the child has an underestimated self-assessment. The kid has to be sure of the forces and not criticize himself.
There are several ways allowing to achieve desirable result:
- you praise the kid. In day of phrases which caress hearing has to be more, than rugatelno – educational. For any person important that he was heard;
- do not make a remark at the people especially foreign;
- do not compare to other children. Also do not hold up them as an example;
- avoid the phrases lowering a self-assessment such as:
– Close a mouth!
– Nobody asks you!
– You were forgotten to be asked!
– Went from here!
These councils are not taken from the head. I studied a lot of scientific literature and checked these ways personally. Use these psychological receptions within two weeks. The behavior of the child will improve, and you will improve with it the relations.
These methods are suitable also for teenagers. In more detail about the teenage period, read in my following article.
Write to me in comments whether it was succeeded to correct your situation. What difficulties do you meet? Or share the methods. I will be glad to responses and I will try to answer your questions.