The set of psychological problems of the person are from the childhood. The most serious factor causing origin of complexes and diffidence, contributing to the development of problems in communication is a nedolyublennost of the child in the childhood.
What the nedolyublennost in the childhood threatens the person with
To characterize the childhood as cloudlessly happy not much people can. However the greatest problems at adult age are caused not by(with) a lack of expensive toys and clothes, but lack of unconditional love and attention of parents.
Need of the child for love is satisfied when parents report to him that it is necessary, expensive, necessary. These messages are transmitted through caress, views, gentle touches, kisses and also through emotional words: "It is good that you at us are!", "Remarkably, when we together!". These signs of love help the child psychologically and to develop emotionally.
The lack of love forces the kid to feel unnecessary, superfluous. He becomes or painfully shy and constraining, or aggressive and cruel. At teenage age the nedolyublenny child most often begins to revolt. The quiet and peaceful kid whom parents praised only for good behavior and deprived of love in other situations, having become the teenager, begins to treat parents in the same way. The Nedolyublenny adult in the childhood cannot love and accept himself. It is fraught with development of an inferiority complex, uncertainty, suspiciousness. Often there are also various phobias, persuasive states, neurosises. In certain cases the individual has an aggression to the world around and all other people. The lack of love also has an adverse effect on the relations in adulthood. Subconsciously the person ceases to believe that he is worthy warm feelings, he was not loved by the dearest and close people. It becomes cold and stale, alcohol or drug addiction often develops. And what worst of all – such individual does not give to love and the children.
How to show unconditional parental love
Always you remember that the love of parents is a basis on the basis of which to be under construction all further human life. Therefore do not wave away from the kid, be not discharged under the pretext of employment. Not only play with the child, but also you share with him feelings and emotions, caress him. Be not afraid to spoil the child unconditional love. If you love him, then and estimate – its acts. If the kid made something unseemly – condemn his act, and to the child always handle only warm feelings.
How to live if you were not loved in the childhood
If you suffer from a children's nedolyublennost, the first that needs to be made – to forgive the parents. You cannot change the fact that these people brought you into this world, but you operate the life. You more suffer from the saved-up offenses. Therefore try to find the reasons of any given acts of parents, to acquit them, to forgive and live further. You study close relations, ways of expression of emotions and love. With it you can be helped by psychological trainings. Remember that also you are loved by someone. If parents could not give you warmth, you can receive it from friends, children, darling, a pet.