The issue of education of children for long years is considered debatable. If the child fought or received the two, then fathers and mothers react to it differently. To threaten with a finger and to tell: "Do not do so more" or, without thinking twice, to flog the disobedient offspring a belt? Fathers and mothers actively practice also that, and other method.
Modern techniques of education are based on refusal of manhandling. The emphasis is placed on belief of the child not to make any given acts by means of a word. And psychologists say that the beating a belt for offenses in the early childhood is fraught with the subsequent formation at the teenager of such qualities as: cruelty, low self-assessment and tunnel thinking. The child who was often flogged a belt in the future can feel frustration of sexual nature, at the expense of desire to ego-trip it easily can go for crime.
But adherents of radical measures of education can object: "And what to do if my son or the daughter do not understand simple words"? Such position is also not deprived of the bases.
Education formats
Each parent is obliged to study well the child, to find to him the approach and to be able to differentiate accurately in what cases the punishment will be strict and unconditional. There are two harmful extremes in methods of education of children:
The first - the parents practicing gentle approach. They are constantly engaged at work therefore they cannot devote to education of the children much time therefore they allow offsprings to be willful. Fathers and mothers are not interested in achievements in school, is uninteresting to them with whom the child is on friendly terms and what is fond of. Such parents or are afraid to punish the children, or because of indifference d not senut children a belt even for serious offenses and crimes.
Parents from the second category adhere to radical techniques of education, they punish children for any (even insignificant) a fault.
And that, and other format of an extreme negatively affect mentality of the child. As doctors note, at our spiritual poverty and a set of the injuring factors more than a half of children in modern society have neurosises. How to be?
To flog or not
Whether it is worth punishing the child a belt? Certainly, there are single offenses when ""the severe measure of punishment"" has to be carried out. For scandalous offense (theft, beating of the peer, mockery at animals and other) one gesture of "the threatening finger" is not enough. However and in such exceptional cases it is impossible to bring punishment to severe beating which is followed by rage or hatred. It is necessary to punish quietly, loving: the child will surely feel your love, and will surely feel that he deserves this punishment. Only under such circumstances children feel the guilt. Punishment will be with benefit.
At reasonable education children well acquire rules of conduct in family, in society, at school. They realize the offenses and justice of punishment, but only when it is fair. Therefore before punishing, in details sort out everything and never act in a temper. To some children of steam of slaps will do good, to others the fact that mother or the father raised a hand against it (also publicly), can provoke serious spiritual wounds.
Mother in an anger rush (constantly slapping the child, and then constantly repentant it) gradually loses the prestige. Over time at the child concepts can be displaced it ""is possible"" and it ""is impossible"". Punishing, be sure that you do right thing.
You aspire to that accusation of his conscience became the most severe punishment for the child. Then any offense causes sincere desire to improve and ask forgiveness for those whom it offended.