The shyness or shyness is connected with the fact that the child is not self-assured, he is afraid to seem ridiculous, ridiculous, with fear receives negative assessment not only of peers, but also teachers and strangers. It is necessary to understand in what situations the child strongly strains, begins to be nervous. This information can be obtained, carefully watching behavior of the kid, besides it is possible to talk in a quiet situation to it about it.
There are cases when parents try to protect the child from any contacts. Such complete isolation from society leads to the fact that the child is not able to get on people, to be on friendly terms with the peers. Quite often the shyness of the child is explained by his habits, character and a way of life of parents.
There are mothers who are closed in themselves, gloomy, are unsociable, they differs in suspiciousness and the increased uneasiness, are afraid of everything — streets, infections, fights, bad influence and by that they set an example to the children. As a result the child grows amorphous and helpless. You remember, the disturbing, nervous emotional atmosphere is very harmful to the child, such situations can result not only in shyness and shyness of the child, but also to neurosises. Also shy and constraining child grows in families where very strictly and exactingly treat him.
How to teach the child not to hesitate?
Quite often mothers ask a question: what to do if the child constraining? Whether it is possible to teach him not to hesitate of people around? First of all the child needs to be taught communication, he has to be able to play with other children and also to get on with foreign adults. To develop skills of communication it is necessary to visit often playgrounds, sandboxes, parks … In such places the child can smoothly turn from the passive observer into quite active participant of games.
Do not hesitate to play with the child in a sandbox, try to organize a game with participation of several children there, try to invite on a visit the child's friends. Never you shame such child, do not leave one in conflict situations because children sometimes are very cruel, they not only quickly notice weaknesses of other children, but also like to deride them. Never criticize the child for shyness, on the contrary, try to encourage and praise him more often. Quite often parents make a mistake, discussing with other adults shyness of the child at his presence. He has to hear about himself from outside only good.
If the child constantly is afraid of the fact that at him something will not turn out, does not trust in the forces, and often worries because of it, is dissatisfied with the appearance or the achievements, then it is signals that the child needs to be helped. It is necessary to help it to look for the positive sides, try to estimate in such situations publicly results of activity of the child, his progress and just personal qualities – accuracy, for example.
Along with it it is possible to overcome shyness of the child by means of various trainings, organizing such situations where your child will be able to try the hand. Here it is necessary to observe the principle "from the simplest to difficult", in the beginning it is necessary to give easy tasks with which your child by all means to cope. For example, it is possible to ask to buy in shop of the kid something independently, or to help to set the table of the house if you expect guests. You will emphasize with such acts that the child can independently cope with instructions. Thus, at the child the positive experience of behavior in different situations will be accumulated. The main medicine for constraining children is heat, attention and caress from parents. You are respectful to the child as the adult, and at the same time do not forget that he is still a child.