In a conversation with each other even the most loving couples can make mistakes which lead to offenses, misunderstanding or even parting. One of the important factors allowing to maintain healthy communication with the darling is in refusing use of a number of negative phrases about which speech will go below.
"I cannot count on you"
Even being in the relations, it is possible to face feeling of insufficient support from the second half. But to sound to the partner that you cannot count on him, all the same that to make a fundamental gap in the relations.
Use of similar phrases only emphasizes inability to see that good that is between two close people, and only aggravates the conflict.
"I do not want to speak about it"
Though it can be the truth and in a condition of emotional excitement you are not ready to conduct dialogue with the spouse or the spouse, it is better to refuse the use of this phrase. The similar statement can be perceived by the second half as the unavailability to work on the relations and to point that your partner is not important for you.
In such situation it is important to emphasize that right now you are not ready to speak, but soon after you will surely return to a conversation.
"I do not love you"
Sometimes, being in power of negative emotions, there is desire to address the partner with a similar phrase. But it is necessary to remember that, having declared the dislike, it is almost impossible to return to the relations "to".
Even if later you will say that you were angry or offended, other person will have doubts in your true feelings. And it, of course, influences communication between close people and undermines confidence in the relations.
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"I want you to earn more money"
Even if you hardly make ends meet, you should not say to the darling about what he earns insufficiently. It will hardly help to solve financial difficulties. And here to cause offense and to cause discord in the relations quite perhaps.
In a similar situation it is possible to act with constructive council which will help your partner to make positive changes to the professional activity and, as a result, to solve financial difficulties. Money - in general very ticklish subject which discussion it is always necessary to approach from a position of love and understanding.
"To me all the same"
Even if you are not especially keen on what is told by your second half, to speak about the indifference at the same time offensively and scornfully. Statements of this sort say to the person that his interests or requirements are not important for the partner.
"Relax!
The offer "to relax" in the middle of the intense conversation, as a rule, only aggravates a situation. Whenever possible, it is better to refuse use of this expression.
"You behave just ridiculously"
An opportunity to be heard, the witness accepted by the loved one are important components of the healthy relations. Such statements as "you behave ridiculously" or "you behave ridiculously", show that the person is not ready to empathize. It often leads to confrontation with the partner as there is a need to prove that the thoughts or feelings arising in any given situation have the right for existence.
Trying to state something similar, it is possible to approach from a position "I", but not "you". For example, to use expression "I do not understand, why do you think so".
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"If it is not pleasant to you, leave"
Ultimatums seldom help to reach harmony in the family relations. Such manipulative approach to a solution when the person appears before the choice "everything or nothing", does not leave an opportunity to find the reasonable answer or a way out. It is easier to refuse use of similar phrases, than later to smooth consequences of "destructive" dialogues.
"All this your fault..."
To shift all fault to someone another is not the best way to cope with problems. For two people who are in the relations it is extremely important to solve difficult situations in team, but not to confer responsibility on one of partners.
"Be interweaved!"
Never, under no circumstances use similar words. Partners in the relations are equal, and everyone has full authority to introduce the ideas aloud.
If communication to come down to the fact that phrases are used "be interweaved", "close a mouth", the conversation means came to a standstill. Take a break to calm down. Later you will be able to discuss a problematic issue structurally.