"You are a girl! Be cleverer (either is more cunning, or is softer, or is more imperceptible …)" These and "common truths" many other allegedly for centuries were put by society in the female heads since the earliest years. It is no wonder that, growing, at first the young girl, and then the mature woman begins directly or to apologize all the behavior for the fact that she does not correspond … Actually apologies – a destructive way.
1. For the floor
Yes! Sometimes the woman is forced to apologize for the fact that that was born! And silently to prove that she is not worse than boys, young men, men.
It often occurs when parents (for some reason – oh, the paradox – is more often than mother) dreamed of the boy, and the birth of the daughter was apprehended as the tragedy.
In the softest option such mother justifies herself the fact that supposedly to women in life have more difficult, here they also did not want to doom the daughter to sufferings. Good position, truly? Did not manage to be born yet, and already has to suffer!
Happen, mother sees the competitor in the daughter.
The special relation to a female meets in regions, at people with special mentality, traditions where about gender equality even formally the speech does not go.
This sense of guilt – one of the strongest. But, requisitions its, already much stops being terrible.
2. For own independence
For some reason even in quite civilized societies still there is a prejudice that independent (financially and morally) the woman – some defective, unfortunate.
Like, all independence – only a pretext because her owner is necessary to nobody. And it would be necessary, at once with pleasure would refuse all the money (let the husband give out once a month on products, and to go to hairdressing salon – overindulgence for whom to smarten up) and own opinion (unless it can be contrary to a family position even if this position allows beatings or psychological pressure).
Do not you want to live so? Here also do not apologize.
3. For the number of the former partners
Some especially correct girls already before the second man feel awkward that supposedly not the first. "Forgive, darling, did not wait". It is a shame to someone if former about ten are gained. But … Do you seriously consider? It does not influence physiology at all in any way.
4. For the status
"In the relations". "One, one, absolutely alone". "Everything is difficult". "In marriage". "In guest marriage". "In free partnership". "Virgin". "Loose woman". "Mother having many children" of Options – the sea. And on everyone, believe, on everyone there will be critics. What now – to apologize to all? And if the status exchanged – too? No!
5. For material success
It is a shame, to earn more husband and even the permanent partner. And that he can leave since will have complex. Here the woman also begins to apologize, then to refuse good work and success in society, and then degrades at all.
Always you remember: degradation begins with apologies.
6. For appearance
Do you shake not childly? Do you like to eat tasty and you carry the XXL size? You are fond of plasticity or, on the contrary, you stand up for naturalness? You're welcome!
The world is fine and various, in it there is a place for any appearance. For any it is impossible to apologize.
7. For the age
In youth there is a wish to seem is more senior that did not think of you supposedly it is too small also to you all early (to fall in love, meet guys, to buy alcohol, to get serious job …).
Years from 30 many women already hide age. Though the majority look and feel much more young.
Really years it something shameful? All apologies – down with.
8. For small pleasures
If you afford a glass red in the evening, a cake piece (or a cake entirely), spontaneous purchases and other darlings and harmless things, then all this can do only good.
Innocent "forbidden" things give so much pleasure! To apologize for them – just a sin.
9. For the children
Young people (and not really) mothers – an easy target for various haters. Not so you feed, incorrectly you dress, badly you bring up and so forth. You pay much attention (you nurse longer than year, you do not give to kindergarten, you listen to opinion the child) – it is guilty. You do not give (after the delivery early came to work, you do not devote all life to children) – it is guilty even more.
And there is a wish to tell: "But you would not go?!"
10. For dislike for children
The aspiration to love children and to give birth to them as much as possible – natural desire of the woman. This opinion from the 19th century for some reason still sometimes in the course in an age of XXI.
But you can not love children and to be at the same time a wonderful person. Not to love only other people's children. And even (oh, horror) happens that mother has no strong feelings to own offsprings.
If at the same time suffer nobody, but society forces to apologize for feelings and emotions which are deeply inside, listen to nobody. Live and rejoice. The love of children can arise at a certain stage, but can and is not present. All people different.
11. For desire or unwillingness of sex
For some reason this aspiration, natural to each person, is bashfully suppressed and even disappears. If the woman loves sex, it is considered nearly a marginality synonym.
Paradox, but the reverse side – causes not less indignations, and forces to apologize (to itself, partners, girlfriends) with the doubled force.
How to find golden mean between the sensual loose woman and the Victorian wife who does "It" only for the sake of reproduction? In any way! Do not apologize, and have sex when you want. The main thing – that the partner suited it.
12. For addictions
All people pick a nose, the majority affords harmful pleasures like smoking, sometimes touches with alcohol, but for some reason from the woman demand is higher?
When to begin to fight against addictions and how exactly – your business. You can not begin. Only do not apologize. It is necessary to nobody.
13. Monthly and PMS
To the state preceding periods in time or right after it, attribute many myths. If it is so painful and uncomfortable that disturbs normal life, it is necessary to see a doctor and to correct discomfort. In all other cases, nobody can know and the more so to accuse the woman of special behavior before and after monthly. And that should not apologize!
14. For the choice of the man
Who near you – the oligarch or the bum, ZOZhnik or the alcoholic, the young man pale with the look burning or the aged man, are more senior … yes though for 40 years – at all not a reason for condemnation and discussion than you. If you love the satellite, it is pleasant to you and to you with it it is good, for what here to apologize?
15. For the fact that you do not meet someone's expectations
On the bigger account, everything for what the woman is forced to feel (directly or indirectly) guilty and to apologize, it is connected with some unclear expectations of foreign people concerning it. If to understand that you are not obliged to apologize for it, it is not necessary to you any more and it will not want to apologize for anything!