5 habits which will spoil any conversation

5 habits which will spoil any conversation

Are not born good interlocutors, become them — for this purpose it is necessary long and to work hard on himself. To become the good interlocutor, first of all it is necessary will get rid of widespread habits which can spoil any conversation.

Communication is the main form of interaction between people. The good interlocutor has no problems with creation of the relations in any vital sphere — such person easily finds a common language with fellow workers, often is soul of the company at friendly meetings and even being among unfamiliar people, he is not trapped.

However, are not born good interlocutors, become them, working on themselves. It is insufficiently simple to be able to speak to become the good interlocutor. It is necessary to know at least the minimum list of widespread habits which can spoil any conversation — it is necessary to get rid of these shortcomings first of all that people began to see in you the good interlocutor.

The first habit: to interrupt the interlocutor, to argue and not to be able often to listen

If the person constantly argues and interrupts the interlocutor, is an indicator of disrespect and bad manners. The good interlocutor never interrupts and is able to listen to speaking. Moreover, the good interlocutor not just waits for the turn that to tell something, he takes a keen interest in what is told by his partner. The more the person plunges into a conversation, the more people want to communicate with him in the future. Hardly it is pleasant to someone that he is interrupted or turn to words a deaf ear. Most of people want that listened to them, understood and reluctantly start conversations with those to whom they are not interesting.

How to cease to interrupt the interlocutor and to learn to listen? Try to be fond sincerely of a conversation, to ask the questions of the partner interesting you, find common interests and discuss them. Let's to listen carefully, allow the person finish the offer before you begin to speak.

The second habit: to speak quickly and constantly somewhere to hurry

Often you look at the watch during the conversation? Constantly you distract? Do you speak quickly and muffledly as if all life you hurry somewhere? It is worth getting rid of these habits! Constant haste during the conversation — a signal for the interlocutor that it is not important for you and with it it is uninteresting to communicate. It is no wonder that after such conversation the people will try to avoid you and to communicate unwillingly.

How to cease to hurry during the conversation? If you often look at the watch or in phone, checking time, refuse these things for the period of the conversation. Try to meet friends and colleagues when at you validly to eat on them time. If you got used to speak quickly, then some time, desire and huge efforts will be required to learn to speak more slowly and to get used to it.

The third habit: to gossip and complain 

You should not begin a conversation with gossips and stories about the problems at once to people whom you know insufficiently well. Ideally it is necessary to get rid of a habit to complain constantly of life and to gossip in general. For such things there are best friends and friends to whom you trust as yourself and to which not away to listen about the new boyfriend of your neighbor from the apartment opposite.

In a conversation with colleagues, acquaintances and especially with people whom you see for the first time it is necessary to avoid gossips and complaints to the life. First, it will push away the interlocutor, and secondly, it is necessary to remember that people can use the obtained information in the purposes and it, most likely, will turn back against you. Besides, if the interlocutor sees that you tell about someone something bad, then will think that you badly speak also of him while it is absent nearby.

How to cease to gossip and complain? If you have problems, try to solve them at least partially — talk to close people, ask for suggestions or the help. Remember that people perceive constant complaints, as a rule, negatively that, in turn, will lead sooner or later to problems in relationship.

If you have at all no person to whom you can tell everything, create to yourself the diary. As soon as you want to be been uttered, tell some gossips or about the problems, write down all the thoughts on paper. Concerning problems, such records will help to analyze a situation, to think and find the right decision. For the same purposes it is possible to use a dictophone or primitive artificial intelligence, for example, Alice from Yandex. 

During the conversation try to constrain yourself from desire to tell the next gossip or a problem. If you see that the interlocutor, having asked "How are you doing?", sincere it is not interested in the forthcoming stories about your private life, try to answer shortly, for example, "At me everything remarkably."

The fourth habit: not to look at the interlocutor

Talking to someone, you cannot come off the smartphone? The newspaper as if a magnet attracted your look? And there can be you constantly pace about the room backwards-forward during the conversation? The lack of visual contact undoubtedly spoils any conversation. The good interlocutor tries to look in the face to the partner, is one of the main ways to cause mutual interest and also one of indicators of what you listen carefully to.

How to learn to come into visual contact? For a start, before a conversation remove far away everything that will distract you: the smartphone and the tablet, newspapers and magazines, remove the watch if constantly you look at them and so on. Try to look to the interlocutor in the face during the conversation. If it is uncomfortable to you to look to someone in the face, at least just you look at the partner. Over time you get used and you will cease to feel discomfort. The more often you will practice visual contact, the quicker achieve results and then during the conversation you will look already automatically in the face to the interlocutor.

The fifth habit: to ask tactless questions

Most often tactless questions nonplus the interlocutor, and cause irritation and aggression in some people. At most of people the desire to communicate with those who constantly at a meeting ask such inconvenient questions disappears. Most often people ask the following tactless questions:

Rather private life:

  • "When you will marry?"
  • "Do you have a boyfriend?"
  • "You so many years together why you do not marry?"
  • "When you plan to bring children?"

Concerning work:

  • "Do you still in the same place work?"
  • "How many you earn?"

Concerning health and appearance:

  • "Why you are such thin?"
  • "Why you will not lose weight?"
  • "And hair/eyelash / at you or increased?"

How to cease to ask tactless questions? Before asking an inconvenient question, put yourself to the place of the interlocutor. Would you that asked you similar questions like? What do you feel when you are asked in this way about private life, career, appearance or health? If you cannot tactfully answer own question, it is not necessary to set it to the interlocutor. And it is better — to remember the most widespread inconvenient questions and to try not to use them during the conversation.

Having got rid of these habits, you will become better not only as the interlocutor, but also as the personality in general. At you will appear more friends and acquaintances, you will become soul of the company, people will stretch to you. Of course, the most complex work is a work on itself, it demands a lot of time, forces and desire, but the final result undoubtedly costs it. Believe in yourself and at you surely everything will turn out!

Author: «MirrorInfo» Dream Team