Emotional immaturity of the partner - a problem which thousands of adults face. Emotionally unripe people often become a source of the family conflicts. They are not capable to take the responsibility, possess emotions of the child, are not able to plan and see the prospect of the development.
The emotional maturity is considered by psychologists as ability of the personality to control the emotions and to be responsible for as the life, and for life of other people. Emotionally mature people clearly and accurately see the life, adequately react to difficulties and are able to cope with them. Such people are able to master the emotions, that is they can feel anger, irritation, disappointment, grief, jealousy and other strong feelings, but without getting stuck in them, and quickly releasing. Emotionally unripe people are their complete antithesis. As the main reason for emotional immaturity many psychologists consider education in dysfunctional family. In such families the people are afraid to express openly the emotions, do not trust each other, deny existence of problems, often clash, accusing, offending, criticizing and condemning each other and also do not consider desire and need of each her member. Either excessive guardianship, or total absence of care about each other is peculiar to Disfunktsioanlny families. Emotionally unripe personality or possesses emotions as at the child, or they at her are absent at all. At the same time emotional immaturity has no age restrictions: the person can have this negative characteristic both in 20, and in 30, and in 40, and in 60 years. Those who decided to start a family with emotionally unripe partner should not hope that that will change sooner or later and will mature. Most of emotionally unripe people keep this personal feature for the rest of the natural. 7 hints by means of which it is possible to reveal emotionally unripe people are given below.They do not possess empathy
Emotionally unripe persons are not able to empathize people. It is difficult to them to put themselves to the place of other people, to understand that they feel what emotions are experienced. Emotionally unripe people are interested only in the feelings. Emotionally unripe people have more often no ability to empathize not only at the level of the interpersonal relations, but also at the global level. For example, they do not feel sorry for the children dying from cancer, the starving poor people who appeared as a result of natural disaster without roof over the head of people. They use simple stereotypic concepts for an explanation of these phenomena, for example, the poor — because does not work, patients — because do not watch over health, were left without roof over the head — because the bad area and the house did not insure. Such people will not have a desire to help as they are not concerned at all by troubles of others.
They are never responsible for the acts
Emotionally unripe people always for the failures shift fault to other people and or external circumstances: "received a bad note not because did not learn but because the teacher angry", "did not enter the university not because badly prepared and did not pass examinations but because around the bribe takers enlisting only for money", "discharged from office not because was late and did not carry out labor duties but because the chief bad", etc. Irresponsibility — one of the main signs of lack of an emotional maturity. Emotionally unripe people also see lack of any benefits at themselves not because that did not earn but because someone another took away it from them: "there is no money because around thieves, but not because does not work", "are not present love because normal sorted long ago, but not because, difficult character", "there is no housing because did not give / did not present / not transferred to inheritance, but not because did not earn on the". Such people are not capable to realize that they are responsible for what occurs in their life. They are not capable to expect consequences of the acts. Emotionally unripe people often have addictions, such as intake of alcohol, drugs, smoking, chaotic sexual communications. And they also justify their existence with external circumstances.
They do not listen to opinion of others
It is difficult to communicate with emotionally unripe persons as they are not capable to hear what other people speak and think of. To them something is useless to explain and to prove, at such people, as they say, "there are only two opinions — my and wrong". You should not even try to convince the unripe person that his opinion is wrong. Even under oppression of indisputable proofs they will hold the ground.
They seek to become stronger due to suppression of other people
Emotionally unripe people are not sure of themselves. Therefore they constantly I feel the need for self-affirmation. And they prefer to do it at the expense of other people. Emotionally unripe people often try to hook on feelings of other people, to make it as it is possible more painfully. It will allow them to feel better. Such people like to label, put others in a humiliating situation, to intimidate or show neglect the behavior. They find persons of no character, and due to their humiliation feel the superiority. At the same time if someone suddenly decides "to put into place" emotionally unripe person, then people around will hear many shouts about cruelty and injustice in relation to him. It is connected with the fact that such people just demand that they were accepted such what they are, and are not ready to take such step.
They try to obtain everything whims
If someone refused to emotionally unripe person or just did not agree with his opinion, then in reply he can receive a grandiose children's hysterics. He will shout, cry, swing hands, etc. to the People forced to live under the same roof with emotionally unripe personality, often it is necessary to concede to stop this hysterics. Emotionally unripe people never make a compromise. They will suit hysterics until achieve the. The partner who is in the relations with such person constantly should be given and sacrifice own interests to please of whims of emotionally unripe person. It is difficult to emotionally unripe people to maintain the relations with other people because they can easily turn the friend into the enemy.
They do not care for feelings of close people if those disturb them
For emotionally unripe persons the family — the tool for achievement of the personal purposes. They without zazreniye of conscience manipulate them any, even in the most mean ways. At the same time to them all the same that is tested by their relatives as the only personality whose feelings interests them they are. They are not concerned by problems of people around why they are angry, upset, cry or are alarmed. Moreover, emotionally unripe persons are irritated and angered by a talk with close people and discussion of their emotions. To them all the same that their relatives lack communication and support. They play a role zhertvyemotsionalno unripe people like to play a role of the victim when it is especially favorable to them. Assuming this role, they strongly distort reality, ignoring certain events, or take words out of a context. For them it is one more way of manipulation. Such people often choose to themselves partners who will test dependence on these relations subsequently therefore they will try to hold them in every way. It gives to emotionally unripe people the chance to play dramas, fixing the position of the victim which allows them to try to obtain the desirable.Emotionally unripe people are sure that the world rotates around them. Therefore before beginning to build with such people of the relation or to start families, it is worth thinking one thousand times whether there is a game of candles. Such people will use kindness of the partners in the purposes to receive the desirable. And the probability that they will mature — extremely low. If nevertheless for any reasons of people it is forced to live together with emotionally unripe personality, he needs to learn to stop whims and hysterics, completely ignoring them. In such relations the partner should undertake a duty of the adult who will be engaged in education of emotionally unripe person.