When the woman fallen in love and happy, she wants to please in reply the man in all possible ways. However the excessive devotion is dangerous that it deprives of the initiator of identity, pushing its own aspirations, dreams, the purposes into the background. And if first darling estimates your sacrifice and desire to please, then these qualities will begin to irritate him soon or it will begin them to use in the mercenary purposes.
Refusal of the hobbies, studies, pits
Being dissolved in the elect, many women follow the tastes their desires: throw favourite hobbies, study. Instead of successful career of which dreamed since the childhood, choose the housewife's life. You should not act this way with yourself and the dreams. The loving person will not put ultimatums, forcing to make the decision favorable to it. He will understand and will accept your desires if it is really important for you.
Besides, the attractive, clever, successful woman will not lose the meaning of life if the relations end. She will move further and will not lose herself as the personality. What you will not tell about the woman who for the sake of the partner threw everything. In case of parting it will be much heavier to start from scratch to her again.
Child's birth
You should not give birth to the child if about it the man asks, and you are not ready yet. Talk to him openly about the fears, vision of future roditelstvo better, discuss concrete terms which are necessary to you for a decisive step by motherhood.
Kind of persistently the man did not wish to become a father, the last word always remains for the woman. Do not follow his tastes and you do not force an event if something does not arrange. The child – your responsibility for the rest of life therefore desire become mother has to appear naturally, but not under pressure even if darling.
To present too expensive gifts
To shower the half with gifts – destiny of men, a part of their ritual of gain and admiration of the woman. Of course, it is necessary to please the elect in reply too. Only you should not show the power of your feelings at the expense of incommensurably expensive gifts. So you turn traditional model of the relations upside down, try to take the place of the man because of what he can feel small. Such kind gestures are especially painful if your beloved has no material opportunity to answer you with the same.
Besides, there is a danger that it will like to be presented. And your man gradually will begin to turn into the gigolo and the consumer.
To be sorry
The man, unlike the woman, does not connect pity with manifestation of love. On the contrary, the pity does it weaker and more helpless, depriving of an opportunity to control a situation. Except words, the darling tries to support it and in practice: to employ, borrow money. She begins to solve for it problems, gradually turning into a dray horse. Seldom, what man will not use female pity in the purposes. As a result it is possible to receive the spoiled idler for whom everything should be done most.
Of course, it is necessary to support darling in difficult situations. In that case there are quite enough encouraging words, council, a sincere and confidential conversation after which the man will want to work and win again.
To point to its mistakes
"And I told the expression which is so loved by women to you!" - one more dangerous trap for the relations. On the one hand, the woman pursues the good aims, wants to prove how great and it is useful to listen to her opinion. And actually in perception of the partner wishes to tower at his expense, it is cleverer to prove to be. The man who got used to feel own importance will definitely not begin to suffer it.
If he is not absolutely blind and silly, then itself understood the oversight long ago, you should not remind of it once again. Perhaps, having drawn right conclusions, the man in the future will begin to listen more to your opinion. For now leave it the right for mistakes without malicious remarks and several seconds of superiority of you.
Financial aid
Rendering financial aid to the man – one of frequent examples of manifestation of pity. If your man has problems with money, left or long sits without work, the temptation is big to support it. Especially, when at the woman with finance everything is safe. And it will surely give from the first salary.
So there passes time. The single situation with the monetary assistance becomes a habit. The woman silently suffers, working for two. The man loses any desire to change a habitual state of affairs. And it will be necessary to break off this vicious circle much bigger efforts, than just to show hardness initially and not to give money.
Changes in appearance
If your man has an ideal of female beauty of which you fall short a little, then you should not go for the sake of its whim on a rigid diet, to recolour hair and to do intimate piercing. Especially, when these wishes cause in you an internal protest. Nobody has more rights for your body, than you are. And only to you to solve as well as what in it to change.
Besides, the man already made the choice, having entered the relations with you, that is before its everything arranged. And now it becomes clear that blondes are pleasant to it more or that the girl has to carry the 42nd clothing size? Such individual obviously not up to the end understood the desires therefore he rushes from one extreme to the other, already initially choosing not that girl. It seems that to you he has no strong feelings, otherwise would not begin to demand changes. The man is ready to accept and love the person who is dear without everyones "but".
It is not necessary to justify itself or apologize for unwillingness to change the appearance. The adequate man quickly will understand the mistake, also will ask forgiveness that pressed on you. If he wants to break off the relations, rejoice to how you got off light. Such copy all the same would not estimate your efforts and demanded more and more power each time. And when patience of the woman would be over, left her. And no changes made for it earlier would keep it from this step.