Family or domestic violence is a violence of one or several people by other person or group of persons within the household relations. Now this quite widespread phenomenon, but belongs to some of the most not lit crimes in the world.
Most often women and children suffer from it, but both parents, and other relatives can be subject. How to distinguish this trouble and whenever possible to prevent it, we will tell in this article.
Essence and reasons of violence
Violence is meant as use of force or psychological pressure through threats, consciously directed to weak or those who are not capable to fight back. Such behavior of an individual can be caused by biological, personal factors of predisposition to aggression. Scientists consider that the aggressive behavior was inherent in the person always what point archeological excavations to.
Besides, scientists note that as well as tendencies are more aggressive, peaceful settlement of the conflicts and control of manifestation of aggression is inherent in us. What will prevail in the person at some point, depends on the situation and a number of foreign factors.
To manifestation of violence can provoke both internal, and external causes. External are those which do not depend on the person, and are connected with the events which are taking place at this moment.
Treat them:
- alcoholism and drug addiction which promptly extend in society;
- crisis of morality, culture;
- Media which tell about violence, terrorism, vandalism, sadism and other all the time.
The internal reasons depend on the personality, its life and family experience, psychological state, education, consciousness, lifestyle.
In this regard can be the causes of domestic violence:
- one of family members does not work;
- unresolved housing problem;
- alcoholism, alcoholism, drug addiction;
- incomplete family;
- one of parents not native for the child;
- the child has problems with health or he is a disabled person;
- undesirable child;
- difficult child;
- lack of some moral restrictions.
Whether you know? Domestic violence does not depend on orientation of couple. It meets at same-sex couples also often, as well as in ordinary family, but the expressiveness is weaker than it.
Types of violence
If to qualify violence by their nature, then it is possible to allocate four types. In more detail about them further.
Psychological or moral
This form of violence is characterized by morally aggressive or violent behavior of one individual in relation to another. It can be shown by the words, affairs influencing feelings of other person.
If to consider such type of violence over children, then it is necessary to add lack of attention, love, desire to receive from the child of what it cannot execute in view of the age, accompanied with rejection by parents of the kid, a sneer of the senior children. This type of aggressive behavior the most frequent and besides accompanies all other types of family violence. To define that the child or someone other of family members is exposed to him, it is difficult due to the lack of pronounced consequences.
To assume that the child suffers from psychological violence it is possible if parents:
- demand from it impossible;
- very strictly punish the child;
- criticize the kid and constantly accuse him;
- are angry and behave is more frightening.
In lack of an opportunity to observe parents it is possible to assume existence of a problem on such features in behavior and a physical condition of the child:
- delay in mental and social development;
- stutter, problems with the speech;
- sleep disorder, frequent nightmares;
- loss of appetite or constant desire is;
- hyperreactivity;
- systematic action of repetition, for example, sucking or pokusyvaniye of a finger, rocking;
- aggressive behavior or isolation;
- it is not susceptible to emotions, is sad, indifferent;
- lack of desire to play;
- urine incontinence at any time;
- complaints to a headache, belly-ache, etc. which actually can not be.
Whether you know? In 2010 in the UAE it was established that the husband can physically punish the wife and children while his actions do not leave physical scars.
Physical and manhandling
This conscious impact on an organism of other person: beating, injuries, tortures. It can be shown by both an insignificant beating, and murder. It is easy to determine this type of violence by appearance of the person and being based on the data of medical examination.
The man who wishes to show the superiority over the woman and aggression of the personality that is often welcomed in society as many still consider if beats acts as usually physical tyrant, means loves. And such manifestation of aggression quite often meets in full families where there are children and which are considered as normal, safe. The woman just suffers and forgives because she is afraid that she will not be able to lift the child, does not wish to leave him without father, is afraid of condemnation in society and just regrets for the husband, including herself or the relatives guilty that the husband so behaves.
As a result badly not only it one, but also the child as quite often the head of family is capable to switch the anger from the beloved on at the wrong time the appeared child. Is physical from parents in relation to the child. It is connected with the opinion which took roots in society that it is necessary to apply physical punishment to effective education, so a beating is quite normal phenomenon.
Important! Some experts attribute to physical abuse inducement of the child to taking of drug, alcohol, delivery to it the stupefying substances.
The following physical signs will help to understand that the child underwent violence:
- bruises which the child does not wish to explain origin;
- scars, traces from a rope, nails, fingers;
- trace from a subject (a belt, a stick, a lash), teeth;
- hematomas in typical places (back, wrists, buttocks);
- on the head bald sites;
- burns about which origin the child is silent (from a cigarette, the lighter, the iron);
- fractures, dislocations, wounds about which origin the child does not speak.
Also there are psychological factors speaking about presence of physical abuse at family:
- the child behaves aggressively;
- is afraid to approach one of parents;
- avoids physical contact with adults (embraces, handshakes, touches);
- the fixed, fearful glance (it is characteristic of babies);
- fear of need to leave school or preschool institution and to go home;
- escape from the house.
Sexual violence
This infringement of one of family members of sexual integrity of another. In the relation with women sex without mutual desire, against will, with use of force, threats, intimidations will be violence.
The sexual relations after a beating or sex use to humiliate and offend, sex in the presence of strangers or with their participation without the consent of the woman can be it also. There is it because in the majority of the countries if couple legalizes the relation, the man acquires full authority for sexual relations with the half and if she does not wish to obey, he can use force for achievement of the purpose. Therefore very few people report about such type of violence, to the senior generation this problem can seem to the socialization which is not existing because of the old principles. The younger generation having short partner or matrimonial relations begins to sound the alarm it is not enough children and not getting into group of possible jobless persons.
Sexual violence in relation to children is an involvement of the child with his consent or without, a direct or indirect way in actions of sexual nature with participation of adults for receiving by them pleasure, benefit. Awfully in all this the fact that even if the kid also gave the consent, then he up to the end does not understand, does not realize so and cannot estimate the events completely.
As a result of it child:
- can show keen interest in a question of sexual relationship;
- held down, behaves mysteriously;
- in tension at communication with a certain person;
- complains of painful urination, urine incontinence, infectious diseases of an urinogenital system;
- goes unnaturally (the gait is broken);
- has diseases, sexually transmitted;
- became pregnant.
Important! At children's age the virgin pleura (gimen) is capable to heal quickly, and in the pubertal period the gimenalny opening can stretch in the natural way therefore the lack of injury of a pleura does not mean at all that the girl was not exposed to sexual violence.
Neglect needs of children
Means absence from parents of care. To the child, as well as the adult, food, clothes, housing, safety, love, medical care, education is necessary. He needs and hygiene.
Most often the lack of all this arises because parents forget about the offspring, leaving it, so to speak, on education by the street. Usually so the persons with alcohol, narcological addiction which are at the lowest social level behave. Besides that the child loses all necessary for existence, he does not feel love and caress yet. These children's deprivations, being transferred to adulthood, become the reason that he / she treats the children or relatives also. As result — violence in family.
The neglect is shown by needs of the child so:
- the dirty, ripped clothes, do not correspond to a season;
- shortage or surplus of weight;
- skin, nails, hair are not well-groomed;
- lack of skills of self-service characteristic to certain age;
- inability to communicate with peers and adults;
- theft of food;
- itch, pediculosis;
- illiteracy.
Read also how to endure a divorce.
Prevention of violence in family
Prevention of child abuse in family has to be carried out by medical institutions to the moment when the pregnant woman gets registered. The expert has to determine by her behavior whether she tends to violence.
Then, already when the kid will be born, and parents will visit according to plan clinic, to lead preventive discussions, to provide the help of the psychologist. Very important that strangers, having noticed wrong in some family, addressed to guardianship authorities. If a problem at an initial stage, then it can be solved successfully, having prevented serious consequences. If you feel that your partner excessively controls you, and your relations just arise, then it is not necessary to think that this manifestation of care. It is better to sever such relations until everything developed into aggression. In families where there are children, it is not recommended to tear at once relationship as it injures the child.
Try to arrange a break each other, having parted for a while (the woman has to remain surely with the child). It is possible to try to involve relatives if their moral customs do not contradict yours that they helped to shame the offender. To cope with sensation of fear, it is necessary to ask for the help the psychologist, in crisis center.
Here where it is possible to find the help in a case of a crisis situation:
- law enforcement agencies (at physical or sexual abuse);
- the centers of social assistance (psychologists and social workers will help to understand in the circumstances);
- medical institutions (it is possible to record the fact of a beating and to communicate to the psychologist);
- telephone hotline.
Whether you know? In the conservative countries the wife that it is dressed in clothes which can be considered insufficiently decent, can suffer from hands of the husband or relatives. At the same time such criminal actions are deemed accepted by the most part of society. So, for example, in Afghanistan 62.8% of local women answered that the husband has the right to beat them if it is dressed in an inadequate way.
Councils for prevention of domestic violence
At the beginning of origin of relationship it is not necessary for the woman:
- to completely devote themselves to the man, forgetting about work, friends, entertainments, in hope that your relations will get stronger;
- to try to correct the love it;
- to decide on the child's birth in hope that it will strengthen your relations and will change the spouse;
- to try to inform the partner that everything that he does, hurts, thereby opening weak spots of the soul;
- to try to correct love children's injuries of the partner, grieving together with him over the heavy childhood or bad behavior of parents;
- not to try to respond to use of force with force, in hope to win.
Video: Signs that you are broken as the personality
Such submission of the woman to the man allows the last to realize the power over victim and if it had a predisposition to aggression, then to release it. Violence has cyclic character therefore it is not necessary to hope that if there came calm, then the problem disappeared.
Through all the time will repeat also with a new force. Therefore if the woman feels violence from the man or noticed that the child tests the same, it is immediately necessary to ask for the help in the special social centers.