The ability to come into contacts, to cause trust and sympathies of the interlocutors is useful to any person – both in personal, and in the professional sphere. It can study, using special psychological receptions, for example, technology of active hearing.
When active hearing is applied?
This way of conversation is practiced by psychologists-consultants. It helps them to create the atmosphere of comfort and trust, and – to express to their clients or more stoutly to realize the feelings and experiences. If this equipment is used in business or household communication, the interlocutor likewise opens, feeling that he is supported and want to understand. Besides active hearing can neutralize emotions of offense or anger, so, nullifies a possibility of the conflict.
Active hearing – real and imaginary
Many think that to listen actively - means to assent and nod though it is actually possible not to agree with heard or at all to think of something foreign. Sometimes - still to ask again or repeat told by the own words to show attention and interest. However such behavior in a conversation – not active hearing.
But what then has to be active hearing? It assumes big internal work of that partner in communication who uses this method. It not just politely represents interest. He is really attentive because he wants to understand the point of view of the interlocutor and for this purpose uses such receptions:
- shows interest – turns to the interlocutor, slightly repeating his pose and bending in his party a little;
- supports and encourages – says: It is interesting to me, continue, I have enough time, it is important to me to hear that you will tell;
- specifies – asks to tell about additional details, says: Whether Correctly I understood that …;
- paraphrases – repeats the words heard, allocating the main thing, summing up the result. The interlocutor can change or modify the point of view, having heard it from other lips;
- develops the idea – picks up the train of thought of the partner, shows what understands logic of his reasonings;
- expresses the relation – says: What you told is very important, I was touched by your words;
- shows understanding – shows that feelings of the interlocutor are natural that another on his place would test the same.
Obligatory principles of active hearing
- Bezotsenochny relation. You keep a neutral and positive position and recognize the right of other person to differ from you and to have the opinion. You do not seek to agree with it or to overpersuade him. You respect his personality and views.
- Goodwill and courtesy. You keep calm and avoid categorical statements. You come into contact and you look in the face to the interlocutor with attention and participation, but not ispytyvayushche. You encourage it to speak, but you do not ask too many questions and you do not interrupt even if he speaks very emotionally and long. And also you do not hurry him and you do not seek to fill pauses if he becomes silent.
- You have to really want to listen and understand the interlocutor. If to you it is uninteresting and you resort to technology of active hearing just like that, it is better for you not to use it at all. It will not bring any results, you will not hit the nail, trying to solve the reasons of behavior or mood of the partner, and he, most likely, will be disappointed, and the conversation will be spoiled. If you were tired, badly feel or are not ready for a serious conversation – postpone a conversation or just allow the person to be uttered, but do not substitute for formal politeness the real active hearing. Also arrive if your partner is not ready to communication and avoids a conversation about the problems or feelings.
The correct behavior and sincere desire to listen and understand the interlocutor will make communication confidential and more pleasant, will allow your partner to exhaust and be uttered, tell more, than he intended, without manifestations of aggression or hostility. Only this way you will manage to know better it and to build more positive and effective relationship.