Aged people sometimes grumble, become irritable and intolerant. We cease to recognize our parents and we do not understand how it is necessary to communicate with them. Psychologists formulated long ago several simple rules, following which, you will be able to smooth acute angles in your relations.
Not to dopuyoskayta of deficiency of communication
Elderly people sharply feel rapidity of life, worry that they stanoyovitsya to nobody are necessary that cannot bring benefit as earlier. DeYofitsit communication at tayoky mentality it is extremely destructive affects both mentality, and a state zdoroyovya elderly people. To their NaYoveshchayta at least once in a week, call - kazhyody day! To more sprayoshivayta also listen. So you instill confidence in the family that they still take the important place in your life.
Remember that pozhiyoly the person because of goryomonalny changes in many respects behaves as the child. Its voryochaniye and a negative poyovedeniye, as well as children's crying is a signal of a neyoblagopoluchiya. Not zliyotes and not razdrazhayyotes in reply. Just to your old man it is bad (there is not enough communication, it nezdorovitsya, etc.), and your help is necessary.
Consult more often
Take for the rule to address elderly parents for council - not important, you will follow it or will make in own way. Consulting on parents, you let them know that their opinion is significant for you. It is easy way to raise a self-assessment pozhiloyogo the person and to allow it to poyochuvstvovat itself a part of your life.
Support feeling of the importance
The aging people very much worry that they are already necessary to nobody and there cannot be poyolezna. Find business which they will can do for your elderly royoditel: ask to take grandsons to school and on circles, to check lessons, few times in nedeyolyu to make a dinner on all family. Busy persons have less time for a hanyodra, alarm and criticism in your address.
You monitor the speech
Elderly people as children, are very sensitive to tone of the speech. Therefore they so often take offense at, apparently, usual phrases. It is important to choose the correct tone at communication. NapriYomer, instead of "I cannot speak now, I will call back" better to say: "Mummy, I am very busy now, I will call back at once when I am released". Each conversation, even not the not most pleasant is better, to finish with a phrase: "I very much love you!" PodobYonyy phrases as suggestion, will work for the future, removing uneasiness and nervousness at your relatives.
Elderly manipulators: how to behave?
Sometimes elderly parents because of fear of loneliness and loss of the main place in your life unconsciously begin to manipulate you, playing on your sense of guilt and a debt. How to behave if you became the victims of manipulations of the native person?
- To understand that elderly rodiyotel manipulate you not from the evil, and with feeling of a neuverenyonost.
- To feel vzrosyoly the parents. Having understood the reason of manipulations, to look at a situation from a stoyorona. Try to develop style of communication, similar to style of communication of the doctor with the patient: kindly, but it is firm and patient. Do not allow to vtyayogivat yourself in scandal, not a reagiyoruyta on criticism.
- To displace attention from vayoshy private life to sobyostvenny interests. Not to a soobshchayyota all details of the private life not to give a reason for manipulations. Displace an interest point from your life on own: ask more questions and listen; help to find hobby and show interest in it. For example, a pomoyogita to master the laptop, to organizoyovat a kitchen garden on a window, write down to the pool, etc.