In life continually there are situations when it is necessary to refuse to the person. Are afraid to offend much by the refusal and agree counter to the interests. There are several simple ways to refuse, without having seemed rough.
1. First, acquire one truth: you are not obliged to justify youselves for the refusal even if it is about refusal to the loved one. The more you will helplessly justify youselves, the stronger risk to spoil the relations with the person. If you so lament then why you then refuse? Such discrepancy is unclear to the person to whom you refused, and offends him more than the fact of refusal. You give the reason only if it really exists, and it is serious.
2. Sometimes the most honest option will be to tell rectilinear "no", but it is better to make it in a soft form. For example: "no, I am not able to do it", "is not present, I prefer not to do it", "is not present, I have no free time now". Perhaps, the interlocutor will begin to provoke you and to persuade, but you hold the ground, without joining in a discussion.
3. Softer form of refusal – to show participation and understanding to a problem of the interlocutor. If the person presses on pity, you can quietly listen, sympathize and refuse him. For example: "I understand that you were very tired, but I will not be able to satisfy your request", "it is really serious problem, but to solve it not in my forces", "I understand how to you it is heavy, but I cannot help with this situation".
4. There is one cunning under the name the delayed refusal. It will be suitable for those people who are not able to refuse at all. Also it is good to win time and to think, weigh all pros and cons a little. It is necessary just to ask some time for considering for the asking person. It can be stated approximately so: "I definitely do not remember all the plans for tomorrow", "I want to consult with …", "I should think", "I cannot tell at once". If you the ready to help person, try to use this equipment always.
5. There are situations which it is necessary to refuse partially. State the conditions what you agree to, and on that – no. It happens if you really want to help something with a specific situation, but the person asks too much. You can answer: "I am ready to help with …, but only not …", "at me it will not turn out to come daily, but I can do it on Thursday and Saturday", "I will give a ride to you, but if you come without delay". If you do not agree to one of terms offered to you, but sincerely want to help the person, ask: "can, I can help with something another?".
6. Sometimes you the truth would like to help, but you do not know how. In that case, try to look for options together with the asking person. Perhaps to make something it will be valid in your forces. Also you can refuse and at once offer the help in search of the expert which will be able precisely to help with permission of the matter.