All people seek to find family happiness. But it is not so simple to find the soulmate with whom it will be really comfortable in the relations. How to find love and to keep for a long time this feeling, we will consider below.
What is love?
The love is feeling of strong attachment.
The feeling of love in itself consists of several components:
- the passion — a physical attraction, a strong motivator at the initial stage of the relations, with their development passes to the second plan;
- the intimacy — proximity of partners in spiritual aspects, more precisely unity, is especially brightly noticeable in crisis situations;
- the fidelity — obligations which are felt by partners before the half aspect accepts the big importance with development of the relations, coming to the forefront.
Important! Love and love — 2 strikingly different feelings. Love is fleeting, and the love remains with the person for the rest of life.
Depending on component structure allocate several types of love:
- The sympathy — consists only of intimacy. At the relations there is only a gentle attachment which is not supported by passion and romanticism.
- Obsession — includes only passion, impetuous and mad from time to time. It is so possible to characterize the first love which arises sharply and can disappear or develop also sharply into feeling of gentle attachment and remain for the rest of life, having added with intimacy and fidelity.
- The empty feeling — consists of some obligations, but does not include passion and intimacy. The relations are based on the weighed decisions on cohabitation, marriage, etc. Over time can develop into more strong feeling or it is observed at couples which spent together a long time, lost passion, but kept cordial relations.
- The romanticism — includes passion and intimacy without obligations. This type of love is similar to sympathy.
- The Platonic love — combines intimacy and obligations without passion. It is observed in the relations of the spouses who spent a long time together, the relatives, people forced to keep in contact at distance.
- The senseless feeling — is based on passion and obligations, but does not include a spiritual bond. If the intimacy does not arise, the relations come to an end with a gap.
- The ideal love — consists of all 3 components. Such feeling does not last long, but it does not testify to a gap — just partners lose one or several components in the course of the long relations.
Several factors play a role in emergence of love:
- Moral readiness or right moment — the person has to be prepared for this feeling, for the introduction in the relations.
- Similar lines — even in couples in which, at first sight, unites nothing partners are similarity. It can be external data, interests, feelings, outlook. Without this factor the long communication is not possible.
- Individual characteristics — style of perception of the relations between the man and the woman in general. Quiet, balanced partners are more inclined to creation of the strong relations, than impulsive.
How to find the love and to be favourite
First of all it is important to understand that not all meet love at early age. To someone it comes to 30, and to someone in 40 years or even in 70. Secondly, it is necessary to prepare the consciousness for new feelings: it is necessary to be exempted from a burden of last unsuccessful relations which weigh soul and not to do by end in itself search of love. This feeling in human life is one of happiness components, but not most important.
Whether you know? In the majority the people before marriage pass through feeling of fleeting love of 7 times.
Not to despair and neglect everything
You do not long without cause — the person has a mass of opportunities, it is just necessary to release everything on drift. The love does not need to be looked for persistently, trying to make out in each acquaintance of the potential husband. Most often this feeling lights up the person at the most unexpected moment.
To begin to trust in love
Concentrate on good points and do not try to construct model of the ideal relations in subconsciousness — they just are not, everywhere there are reefs. If it is too strong to overestimate a level, then under it any partner will not approach. The love needs to be perceived with all minuses and pluses, adequately regarding own requirements, considering that the partner will have them too.
To make a step
Be exempted from internal fetters — step towards to the happiness. Reveal yourself, be not afraid of people. Look for fine in all that it happens, and do not stop. Be engaged in self-improvement, both external, and internal. Only when the person loves himself, he can be pleasant also to people around, and in this case to you positive people will be attracted.
Where to find the soulmate?
Today with advance of advanced technologies and development of mobile communication borders not only between the cities, but also between the countries are erased. Be not afraid to strike up new acquaintances — each person is fine and interesting. Even if it will not turn out to construct the relations, it will be useful experience.
On the Internet
If it is not a lot of time for search of the partner, it is possible to try option with social networks and dating sites. But it is necessary to approach this question seriously not to get to a trap of speculators.
The first step — registration in various social networks:
- VKontakte;
- Facebook;
- Instagram.
Add attractive photos which will open your pluses and will hide minuses. But you should not be fond too of the photoshop, otherwise the picture will differ too from reality, and then it will turn out that you begin the relations with deception in advance. In social networks there is enough the groups offering various forms of communication for users according to interests. Subscribe to these groups and, perhaps, there you will be able to find a soulmate.
Important! You do not hurry to agree to a meeting. If it is already planned, then it is better to meet in the neutral territory where there will be many people.
With dating sites it is necessary to be even more attentive. There is a mass of resources which transfer personal information to the third parties or are synchronized through social networks that reduces confidentiality level.
Several signs of the qualitative resource offering acquaintance to real users, but not fake:
- Registration without monthly fee — similar resources give the chance to the user to test own product to solve whether it is necessary for them. In turn, the websites which are completely free of charge offering the services often provide obviously false questionnaires and a lot of unnecessary advertizing.
- High-quality protection of personal user information — attentively study terms of service. Protection against information transfer to the third parties and in social networks has to be guaranteed to you, not everyone wants that acquaintances were aware of their problems in private life.
- Style of selection of possible acquaintances on the website — on each resource there are analysts who make the test tasks for people based on questions of preferences in appearance, outlook, interests and other specific features. Then in a system there is an automatic selection of similar questionnaires, and it issues you the offer with possible contacts which can suit you. Also this test promotes elimination of people who are not interested in the serious relations.
- The interface and feedback from workers of the website — on qualitative resources everything has to be most adapted for the user. All information moves in a convenient look, does not contain advertizing of antisocial and sexual nature. Profiles of users have to be original, not containing too personal, intimate information. Existence of support service where there is an opportunity to leave wishes, complaints and to receive answers to the questions interesting the user is obligatory.
- Serious information — by consideration of questionnaires of other users the applicant has an opportunity to obtain information on what is really important, but does not make a reservation at the first appointment, that is behavioural reactions in stressful situations, the love and family relations, the conflictness level, desire to have children.
In real life
You should not be obsessed too strongly with search of the partner and to do it by end in itself. Lyubov can be met, accidentally having got acquainted with the person in:
- turns in shop;
- public transport;
- club;
- working collective;
- institute, etc.
You should not reject at once an opportunity to communicate to the new person. Consider it initially as the pleasant pastime bringing benefit to both partners.
Whether you know? The strongest aphrodisiac — sweat of darling. By the way, this ingredient throughout a long time was the basic in preparation of spirits and love potions.
Councils of psychologists
Several councils from psychologists who will help with achievement of the goal:
- Expand a circle of contacts — without having bought the lottery ticket, it is impossible to win or lose, the same concerns also search of the soulmate. It is impossible, idly and sitting in one place, to meet the person. Look for opportunities to attend actions where there is a chance to get acquainted with people of an opposite sex.
- Push a thought of search of the husband into the background — men are discharged of women who at once estimate them as males for production of posterity. Derive pleasure from communication, without regarding it as attempt of the serious relations. All essence is in learning to interact with society.
- Find good points in the loneliness — usually during such period the person has much more opportunities and time. Consider prospects and use time for self-improvement.
- Destroy own stereotypic framework — the love is many-sided and does not correspond to any model described, for example, in the novel. Accept life adequately, having taken off pink glasses. After all, the relations is a hard work, but not a constant rose and candy stage. Do not overestimate the requirement to partners — there are no ideal people.
- Do not concentrate on failure — in the relations it is necessary to work, but not to plan parting and to count the spare courses as in a game of chess, it is counterproductive. Considering possible parting, the person tries to disappear from problems, but does not solve them.
- Give support - it is and there is a true intimacy. An essence of the love relations — when partners help each other during the difficult periods and create a cosiness, just being nearby.
- Do not change the partner — each person lives own ideals and imposes special requirements. It is necessary to try to make a compromise, but not to mold from the partner what is wanted. In the relations the people already change, but it is important not to change so to lose the "I" and to be dissolved in the partner.
- Always put yourself to the place of the partner — sometimes the innuendo or offense because of a trifle can become the parting reason. Always try to assess a situation from the partner and to understand why he took offense or refused to satisfy a request.
- You learn to concede. The love is self-sacrifice in adequate limits. The relations with constant skirmishes exhaust morally, people feel exhausted and lonely near the half.
Important! The aspiration to love is put at the subconscious level. This desire is so needs of nature of an organism as aspiration to reproduction of a sort and food.
The love is fine feeling, and sooner or later it comes to all, the main thing is not to despair and perceive temporary loneliness as the next vital stage.