Alcoholism has an adverse effect as on life of the alcoholic, and his environment. The dependence on alcohol prevents to conduct full-fledged life – the person becomes inadequate in all spheres of life, slides an inclined plane on the bottom.
The main reason needs to be looked for in people's psychology. The vast majority of alcoholics consider spirits as universal remedy to remove stress, to relax, forget about problems. Gradually such way of escape from reality turns into resistant dependence, a disease.
To reconcile or leave the alcoholic husband?
The alcoholic in family are continuous problems and troubles. This constant nervous tension, fear to cause fit of anger, expectation of the next hard drinking. Constant stay in such state can cause codependence in the alcoholic's wife. It begins to justify the behavior with the following reasons:
- Fear to remain one. She is afraid to leave the husband because of fears that will not be able to arrange the life any more. On extremely measure everything is already clear and familiar with it, and with the new elect can be even worse.
- The woman stays in full confidence that without it the husband will be gone therefore prefers to live further with him, suffering and suffering.
- Unwillingness of changes. To leave the husband means to refuse already adjusted life, search of an additional source of income, moving on the new residence, etc. Therefore many prefer to suffer, than to cardinally change the way of life.
- Desire to keep family. Following a stereotype that the child surely has to be brought up in full family, the woman hesitates on such radical measures as a divorce.
Negative consequences of life with the alcoholic
Hobby for the husband's problems, connected with his alcoholism, gradually leads the woman to degradation – it loses identity, becomes indifferent to own life. Gradually there are signs of codependence:
- the underestimated self-assessment;
- tendency to negativism;
- aspiration to constant control for the husband;
- sense of guilt, fear of condemnation;
- humility with the fate.
These negative emotions and feelings gradually ruin not only psychological health of the woman, but also physical. Constants nervous tension and a stress – the direct road to migraine, insomnia, a hypertension, bronchial asthma, an ulcer, etc.
One of main the delusion is to think that codependence of the wife can help somehow the husband from his addiction to alcohol. Psychologists, studying problems of similar families, came to an unfavourable conclusion – codependence, on the contrary, promotes progressing of an addiction. The alcoholic, feeling tolerance from relatives, begins to shift to them all responsibility for the behavior, quite often falling before charges and physical abuse.
Sooner or later the woman needs to solve: to leave with intention to begin new life or to remain, trying to help the spouse to overcome a problem. As a rule, here not to do without the third-party help therefore the address to the psychologist – is extremely desirable.
If the burden of responsibility for small children, and behavior of the alcoholic – aggressive hangs on the woman, and he periodically uses force, then in this case doubts cannot be – it is necessary to leave, and as soon as possible.
How to behave with the husband the alcoholic?
The first that will be required from the woman who decided to keep the relations – patience. And also understanding that it is required to put a lot of effort, the demanding big sincere expenses:
- Not to create to the husband favorable conditions for his hard drinkings, i.e. not to show humility, sympathy and pity.
- Not to solve his problem for the alcoholic. Let solves all the difficulties itself, thereby he will not lose the remains of ability to be responsible for the acts.
- To do without scandals and hysterics. Not to try to talk to him during the periods of hard drinkings. Quietly, but firmly to push him to a thought of need of treatment.
It is important to remember that all attempts of treatment for alcoholism without sincere desire of the alcoholic – business useless and ungrateful. However, if the decision is made by it and there is a support of relatives, then chances to return happiness to family are quite high.