The speech of the person is not only the main instrument of communication. The ability to speak is a fundamental factor when forming public opinion about the person. Therefore to any modern representative of society, regardless of a position and the place which he takes in society it is necessary to have in the stock at least initial skills of successful communication. How them to come trudging and on what factors success of communication depends? Let's sort this question in more detail.
Psychology of successful communication
Before understanding what criteria of successful communication, it is important to understand those problems which arise at any conversation. Let's consider the most frequent of them:
- use of a certain knowledge of the weaknesses inherent in the interlocutor can forever spoil the relation with the person. You should not manipulate the person with whom you are going to maintain the relations further. You risk to provoke a quarrel and it at least;
- the reminder on old mistakes and skeletons in the cupboard can play not your advantage too. Excessive tedding of the past will not be pleasant to anybody;
- to cause insult to the person or to offend him it is possible not only a word, but also an act. For example, when in a conversation on a subject unpleasant to you you interrupt dialogue, change a subject or at all go to other room. Good in such act it is not enough and your interlocutor will hardly want to deal with you again;
- negative charges (lazy, irresponsible, a rasteryakha, etc.) can become personal insult for the interlocutor, and dialogue will simply develop into a quarrel. Also you should not award with such labels of children. Such manner of communication will forever leave a print on their mentality, and they will grow up the diffident people suffering from a low self-assessment;
- the attempt to shift responsibility or fault to other person will cause negative emotions as in the interlocutor, and people around. You have no right to give an assessment to actions of other person and especially to try to cause in him sense of guilt;
- too very few people transfer a command voice. Learn to speak with people quiet, but not mandative tone. Desire to amuse the vanity and sense of superiority also belongs to the same example. People perfectly see what you try to achieve. Probably will listen to you, but you definitely do not get respect from such manner of communication;
- people are irritated by a large number of questions. Especially if they concern private life or a subject to which the person would not like to extend. Also, if to ask the interlocutor it is a lot of questions, he will simply decide that you do not trust it.
How to become the good interlocutor?
Rules of successful communication practically exclude above-mentioned examples. But how in that case to behave to become the interesting interlocutor? The main secret is in psychology of people. If always to remember that conversations about them are most interesting to people, then secrets of successful communication will be quite simple.
- You learn to listen to the interlocutor. Ask the person as put him as family, health, work, children. And as soon as he will begin to tell, listen to each his word, ask questions, empathize and admire in right times
- You leave from disputes. Respect opinion of the interlocutor and try to reach compromise at collision of interests.
- At any topic of conversation (of course only if it does not concern sad events) try to smile to the interlocutor. The benevolent relation and the having smile – the most important factors of successful communication.
- When you are asked about your life and affairs, you say exactly so much how many it is necessary for general idea. There will be quite enough couple of interesting facts. You should not tell about problems of private life and in detail to paint the life. First, it to very few people, secondly, next time after your complaints you will be interestingly avoided again not to become a vest. And in case you brag as everything is fine, you will begin to be envied that will not always play your advantage.
- In what company you would not be, have couple of fresh jokes or interesting stories in a stock. Your awareness is in what events took place in any sphere recently, certainly, will make you the pleasant and interesting interlocutor.
- One more important condition of successful communication is, strangely enough, silence. Sometimes it is necessary for the interlocutor that just listened to him, without hints and comments. Silence – gold. This rule will never lose the relevance.
- Pay attention to nonverbal signals of communication. Language of gestures helps to open nearly 80% of thoughts and intentions of the interlocutor. You surely need knowledge of elementary signals of a lie, closeness, frankness or unwillingness to support the topic of conversation. Studying psychology of gestures will help to help with it.
If you have not enough similar councils, then in more detail art of communication can be studied in the book The Best Methods of Successful Communication. Her author Igor Vagin - is the famous psychotherapist and also the great business coach. On pages of the edition he describes effective technicians of communication, learns to fight against manipulations and also recommends rules thanks to which it is possible to develop skill to communicate quickly.
And finally remember, the main principles of successful communication consist in full-time employment over the speech, respect of the interlocutor, ability to be silent and listen. It is only worth having patience and to keep calm. Then you will become not only the pleasant interlocutor and the interesting person, but also a good example for imitation.