Domestic violence - a huge problem in modern society. The falling out of lovers is the renewal of love, speak in the people. But how to be if the conflicts in family begin to pose a threat for health and danger to life? And how to define a side for which you should not pass?
Domestic violence - a subject delicate. Statistically, practically in 25% of families the domestic violence is a commonplace. However, according to criminalistic statistics, about 30% of premeditated murders happen in families where violence became the norm of life, and about 50% of household crimes are connected with family quarrels. Not each person openly admits that occurs behind a facade of the family relations. Outside everything can look decently, is well-founded. And about what occurred in family it is possible to learn only after the irreparable tragedy. And nevertheless. if in time to identify danger of death, the tragedy can be avoided.
The menacing manifestations of aggression are visible with the naked eye. You should not rely on the fact that terrible signs of physical violence and will remain signs, sooner or later intentions of the aggressive person are realized. And there will be it consciously or unintentionally - not so important for the victim of violence. What signs in behavior of the aggressive family partner have to guard and become a signal to the termination of the relations, for preservation of life and health?
- The partner has a depression, suicide moods. It is not about melancholy to which practically all are subject. A depression - a sincere disease which demands the qualified medical diagnostics and needs continuous treatment and prevention. Whether there will be enough patience, love, force and wisdom to live with the sick person side by side?
- During the family quarrels the partner reports about the intention to commit suicide. Sometimes he says that he will kill the wife, and then - himself. It is necessary to treat such threats seriously. If there is no readiness to leave the partner - it is necessary to consult to the professional psychologist as similar installation in behavior of an aggressor can threaten not only his life, but also life of those who are nearby. In the heat of passion the men, inclined to a suicide, sometimes deprive of life of members of the family, and then and themselves, and - the last occurs not always.
- If the partner inclined to violence shows interest in weapon and furthermore if it has an easy access to fire or cold weapon - it is a deadly signal.
- It is necessary to listen to verbal threats: the more particularly the aggressor describes the possible actions, the more often shows cruelty and anger - the it is more dangerous to be with him nearby.
- At the partner the jealousy ""reads off scale"", he maniacally watches each step, tries to establish control of personal belongings of the potential victim. Open scandal because of jealousy is less dangerous, than the ominous tranquility which is able which the aggressive partner gloomy brings up the questions of personal character connected with jealousy.
- The situation when the aggressor forbids to seem friends, parents has to guard, tries to lock doors and to hide a key, to limit freedom to different ways. Deadly prevention is shadowing, listening of phone calls, breaking of personal e-mail, the requirement of the report on every minute time spent separately.
- If at life of an aggressor there is an alcohol or drugs - the danger increases several times. Also amplifying game dependence, a game addiction has to become prevention. The tragedy can happen when nobody expects - for example, after loss ""totally"" when to the person captured by a depression, apparently, that he has nothing to lose.
- The dependence on the victim, loneliness, the increasing isolation and isolation - all this speaks about the increasing danger to people around. The aggressor can explain it with painful attachment, mad love - it is impossible to be under a delusion. The dependence - financial, sexual is more rigid, physical - the union with the aggressive person is more dangerous.
- Increase of scandals, reduction of a period of time between anger attacks, manifestations of cruelty, the becoming more frequent attempts to push, strike - all this speaks about deadly risk. Attempts of violent sex, physical and verbal roughness, playful and serious attempts of a suffocation, arm-twisting - has to guard seriously. It is worth to rememberIt is worth to remember that aggressive natures easily change favor for anger, and differences of mood can have fatal consequences.
If the potential victim of violence resolved to stop the relations with an aggressor, it is impossible to declare the intentions at all. The risk catastrophically increases in these cases as news of parting can provoke the real rage at an aggressor. The aggressor can lose control over himself in such situation, and the attempt to leave such person can end for the victim not only heavy injuries, but also murder. Therefore, the decision on parting has to be made on the sober head, cold and pragmatically. It is necessary to get support - among reliable friends or relatives. To be convinced that it is possible to move to the safe place where family members will be in safety. And only after that to begin the procedures connected with a divorce, the section of property.
If the decision is made - you should not give in to pity, to agree to gifts and arrangements of an aggressor to give it one more, the last, chance to correct errors, to start everything from scratch. Violence is a manifestation of a sincere disease. If it already began in family, further it will only be worse. You should not convince yourself of the return and to give in to consolatory self-deception.